live... laugh... love

life has taken a turn for bad... but i have to choose to live laugh and love. As now i am a single mom of two kids and my bank account keeps getting drained before i can get to the bank... i literally have nothing. but i think it is in the broken times that you find who you truly are. Yes i break down and cry and i think that is healthy and ok. I cannot pretend that life is peachy but i can choose to live in joy and choose to laugh at all of the situations in life that i can. I am not sitting around and moping i am finding things to fill my time and people to surround myself with. I have two beautiful boys that make me so happy and they love me unconditionally and i love eternally. I have learned who my true friends are through the situation as well. They called the cops for me 2 times to make sure i was safe and have surrounded me with protection. i do not want to get too in depth into what is going on but it is very bad and hard and trust me i am very proud of myself (as bad as that sounds) for how i have handled everything in this!

I dont want you... but i dont want anyone else to have you!

why do we do this to ourselves. It starts as children, we aren't playing with a toy.. in fact it is a toy we don't even like very much. Another child starts eying the object abandoned on the floor, you drop the much cooler more interesting toy you were paying with, the other child reaches for the toy, you begin to freak and cant get over there fast enough to snatch the toy out from the other kids hands.
it evolves through our tween to teen years into the opposite sex. You date someone have tons of fun and slowly drift app art, soon you don't even look forward to seeing them anymore. You decide to call it quits. months go by (for some people days) and you found someone much more suited for you. Your out on a date with that person a you see the ex... WITH SOMEONE ELSE!!! How dare they! what do they see in him/her. What makes them better then me? He/she isn't even that good looking. All you can think about is your ex and hating the person who "replaced" you completely ruining your date with the person who actually wants to be there with YOU.
I've been guilty of this sad to say. I have also been the receiving end while my boyfriend watches his ex who has "moved on". this causes pointless wounds, the two of you broke up for a reason and you and your significant other are together for a reason. we need to focus on bettering what we have rather than envying what we don't even want.