BOUNDARIES

In relationships it is very important to have a mutual respect and care for each other emotionally and physically. You should be able to talk to each other about boundaries, if not you don't know each other well enough to start dating. You need to stand up for yourself! If it helps write it out so you dint forget things, the way this should work is that you DO NOT COMPROMISE! You need to agree that the person who has the most strict boundaries is the one that you both follow! You do not compromise because that is not truly caring for yourself and that also is not respecting the other persons feeling about the subject. If the don't feel comfortable doing more then holding hands or kissing then that's as far as you go and you make it clear. If the other person tries to pressure you to do more that is NOT the relationship for you because they are not respecting your boundaries and caring for YOU, they are caring for their own WANTS! They are not needs and if someone tries to tell you "I have needs that you are not fulfilling," they are lying and being selfish. They have WANTS you are not fulfilling.
It is SO hard as a girl and I fell into that trap of longing to PLEASE him. You care for him so you go with his boundaries and what he wants and stop thinking about yourself and what you were comfortable with. You soon become numb to the things you are doing because you aren't doing them because you want them and you are ready for it. You then don't realize why that relationship isn't working and it is because there isn't respect on both sides, they don't respect you and you don't respect you! You become depressed and don't understand why. When the relationships fail you become devastated because you gave him so much of yourself.
When the next guy comes you would feel guilty to give him less then the guy before because you like the new one more so you slowly give more and more of yourself that you never wanted to give in the first place. But you are not doing it for you because YOU feel is right and how you imagined it would be it is for the guys that don't stick around forever. If the other ones didn't work out, what was the common factor? It was them being selfish and you not having self respect. We need to turn this around, realize our sexuality is our strength and if he really likes/loves us and cares for us he will understand it isn't just something we do it is something we feel and will keep with us the rest of our lives and unless he can guarantee he will be the one to marry you and isn't just wanting a good time he isn't ready for it either!
When you get married you will regret EVERYTHING you did with the guys not just the sex. Also GUYS you will regret it too and in the back of the girls mind no matter what you say she will always be a little hurt by it as well. ESPECIALLY if any of those people are still in your lives. Please be careful and respect yourself and if the other person doesn't respect you it isn't right!

Should girls ask boys out?

No, boys have very sensitive egos, even though they do not want girls to know about it. Boys long to be superior to us even though girls secretly have the upper hand. they can ask and put themselves out there but we hold the power to make it or break it. Our next words choose our fate for the next weeks, months years, possibly the rest of our lives (and/or theirs). Our lips that enthrall them, mystify them, are the one thing they cant control as much as they long to. We need to take that back, we need to think about things, just because a boy likes us doesn't mean they are worth a yes. A no will keep them coming, if they truly like you they will come back, and that's when you truly have the power. If they go on to the next girl he was never yours to begin with. If you were friends first and you know him and truly do like him a yes is OK. Any relationship should be built on friendship, if my husband and I did not have a solid foundation of friendship it would have been over before it began. Just guard your heart and let him ask you, drop hints and if he doesn't get it then he is too dense for you. Be smart! And don't push any boundaries that you are not comfortable with you also have the upper hand with that! But that's another blog.

Missed Connections

Have you ever read on craiglist the missconnections section. Some of them are pretty funny. I wonder how many people get reconnceted and work out from that section. Here are some headlines from it...
"Arety's Angel" <----- which is a strip club close by (this guy must be high class :)
"Hot Fireman" <------ arent we all haha
"To ALL the women at _____ ____ last night" <----- this guy isnt picky haha
"cute bald guy" <--- I don't know why that was funny
"met you at peg leg" <---- hmmm
"You were walking around the neighborhood" <----creepy
"You were mowing your lawn" <----- to this girl he was probably the one that kept driving by really slow in the van with no wondows in the back... same with the one before this haha.
They are mostly men, there is most likely a reaso the didnt talk to you when they had the chance haha! I wonder if anyone ever looked for me on here :)
I dont know if any of you watch one tree hill but these remind em of the guy that pretended to be peytons brother! i wouldnt respond (if i was single) unless i remember him as well and he was someone i wanted to remember.
Do you see any funny or creepy ones in your hometown.

Are girls too mean to eachother?

Oh yes! Rumors fly, caddy remarks sneak out while they pass each other in the hall, they make smear blogs to hurt others and put them down, the get in fist fights over looks and stealing boys. The competition to be the prettiest, smartest, most popular makes girls turn into vicious animals. I have even seen girls make fake web pages to get you to "add" them as a friend and then begin slowly talking to all of your friends trying to turn them all against them. They video themselves beating up another helpless girl and Putin them up on video networks. Girls get so scared and embarrassed that they stop going to school and are put in therapy and sometimes even lead to drugs and drinking to make the pain go away. A lot of time they are old friends that something silly happened then they decided to be enemies and make everyone else be their enemy as well. Girls going WAY out of the way to seduce a boyfriend just to be mean. It is just horrible, i was the victim to this in my school and CHURCH! wow never thought it would happen there! Prayer becomes a rumor mill for some which is a very sad truth. So be careful you reasons for telling people things that aren't about you.
Life goes on you shouldn't hold grudges towards people especially when they didn't do anything wrong. A lot of times girls will go after the new girlfriend of their ex with the mentality of "I don't want him but I don't want anyone else to have him either." It makes them feel like the next girl is superior to her when in reality she is if you stoop down to give her grief without doing anything wrong. I never understood this. High school girls are just ruthless and mean. So if you are one please be the one that rises above it all, its petty and will mean nothing when you get out of high school accept for those girls who mentally stay there the rest of their lives. They are the ones at the 10,20,30 year reunions still talking about grudges they had in high school and gossiping about people. Please don't be that girl!

Why must wives respect their husband?

Why in the bible does it say for a man to Love his wife and a woman to Respect her husband?

It is because the opposite comes natural. Men have respect for those around them love however is not natural, when things get tough they run. Love is a choice like i said in my other blog post. For women love comes easiest, we nurture, we care for, and we comfort. Respect is harder for us. Giving up of our feelings and thoughts to respect our husband. We like being respected but we do not respect our husbands decisions as much as we should, we take things into our own hands and are RIGHT! I do definitely struggle with this! I have the love part down but respect its something we don't understand. We need to listen and hear what he says, take it into consideration, be able to walk in his shoes. It is not that we need to bow down to his very whim that is not respect and that is not respect and that is not love on his part. It is our job to show them how to love and their job to show us how to respect therefore we both love and respect each other. If you haven't heard of Pam and Bill Farrel the have some great books to help you understand this. If you are in the beginning of marriage or thinking about getting married a great book by them is "The First Five Years" another is one that shows you how the other thinks and feels called "Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti" They are great books! The Love Dare which i talked about in the other blog about love is another amazing tool to learn how to show love and respect to your spouse whether you are male of female! Christian or not! the principals are all the same.

Our Money or Theirs?

Credit or Debit? We go over our limit to have the things we wish we could afford, we say we can afford the minimum payment and get excited when the minimum payment goes down and it turns out you are paying it off even slower. out of your 50 dollar minimum payment 35 goes toward the interest 5 goes toward you protection plan and you are actually paying 10 dollars off of your principle. Instead of building the credit we thought we were going to we miss a payment or two and owe an extra 60 dollars and soon you are so far behind on all of your 50 dollar a month payments from numerous opened credit cards that you start getting numerous calls a day from ruthless creditors that wont budge. Even if you pay them your credit is still scarred. You now find yourself paying more on every loan you have and it ends up costing you even more in the long run. How could we avoid this?
We can live one step below the amount we make, you will be able to pay for everything you need and you will have a surplus (even if not much) in case of emergency or for the future. We long for earthly possession and win people over with the fancy car or purse, the nice dress, the elaborate house. Instead we need to think about the families we have, the amount of room we need the furniture we will use, the car that will be most efficient for the children (if any) and husband. Do we need 2 car? Is it close enough to walk or ride a bike? Is the extra office in the house worth the extra 50,000 dollars.
Once our credit is ruined it is a hole that seams to get deeper and deeper. soon we are buried and we are avoiding the phone and throwing away mail before we open it.
When my husband and i were married we were negative without me even being aware of it. He had made many college mistakes that he didn't think would affect his future or his future families.
We now have a strictly cash budget which stops us from over drafting our account or getting deeper into credit issues. We have envelopes that we save and it only comes out if it is being used for that purpose. If you don't get holes in your pockets it may be a good idea for you.

Is love truely 50/50

If love truely 50/50? Do we really always meet in the middle? Do we see eye to eye? Are me on the same page?
We are human and always fall short and noone is ever giving the same amount! people always have bad days and therefore we will rarely meet in the middle, expecially once we are out of the puppydog love stage!

We need to look at it as being 100/100. So we can actually meet!!!!


This way when we have those imperfect times and dont give 100 we are still meeting eachoher somewhere! We need to focus on picking up the slack when our spouse or significant other is not holding up their end because sometime it will be their turn to pick up your slack!