Saturday, October 17, 2009
people l the time wonder, "why do thy stay in the situation?" well most times it in not only physical, it is emotional (usually he way t starts) they are beat down so much on the inside they believe it is what they deserve and this man loves them. They are usually very caring individuals who a lot of ties were abused when they were younger and it is what they are used to. They see themselves the way their significant other tells them they are, they use him as a mirror. The girl protect the one person they shouldn't alienating all the people they should listen to and want to help because he tell her to.
Many times the attacker does it because he was raised hat way or he has self confidence and ego issues. instead of dealing with these issues he take it out on the one person who is head over heals in love with him. He uses her to build his self esteem and ego by belittling her.
I have had friends in these situations and it is so hard to deal with because the more you talk about the situation and try to help the less you can help and soon they are not "allowed" to see you.
This is the same for controlling situations. The guy (or girl) feel they have no control over their own life and want to prove they have control and start asking you everything you are doing, call you all the time, make you explain why you need to do those things, why you need to see those people, then start telling you where you should work, who you would see, and what you should be doing. they, a lot of times, push the issue of moving in together, buy you cars, go shopping with you and try to take up as much of your time as possible. They call even more when you are with people they don't want you with. They make you leave functions they are not at early. It is so sad watching people in these situations!
Another reason they have a hard time getting out is they are told over and over if they leave they will kill them or the next guy. Girls ho doge out a lot of times become stalked by the ex and he begins threatening future relationships ad family. He doesn't want to lose control and will fight to the death for it.
Just remember it seems a little suffocating in the beginning it only gets worse. It will slowly become more and more strangling until you feel here is no way out! If you start alienating friends and family you should evaluate the situation and ask friends whose opinions you value and be completely open with them. you should have accountability partner in an relationship so you can keep your values and morals and be able to see things clear. if there are things you cant tell that person then it is most likely wrong. If you are lying about why you are leaving something or who is calling you KNOW it is WRONG! If you leave him you may you feel you will have no one but that's because he is telling you that. There are people out there to help you!