Friday, October 30, 2009

wolf spiders

These spiders are nasty and they are in my house... i have no problem being the one to kill them, if you don't mind my screaming when i do it. The nastiest t hing about these icky creatures is they don't have webs where they put the egg sac they carry it between their legs and then when the eggs hatch the babies huddle on the momma spiders back. When the mom is harmed the babies go running in every direction. Every time this happens it grosses me out, i just go get my vacuum and finish off the babies... i really don't want more of these big guys crawling around my floor. i have been bitten by these guys and it is painful... blehhhh

Monday, October 26, 2009

Will people ever learn?

Avoiding doesn't solve problems or make them go away! It makes them so much worse. Hanging up on people feeds the fire for the next conversation, walking out of the room makes the other feel ignored and unimportant. Why do people do this????? It drives me insane! They then turn off their phone and make it impossible for you to talk to them. GRRR

Age =/= Wisdom

The saying "respect your elders" makes me question a lot of people. Wisdom is attained by those who live there life to its potential. Those who learn from their, and other's, mistakes. Those who use the negative along with the positive to better themselves. When they see someone going through an experience they try to help those people whether it is being there for them or giving them insite. They may, or may not, be the smartest people when it comes to book knowledge, that is not the key to wisdom. Have you known anyone who has a lot of older friends (i am not meaning the 21those in high school hanging with the 21 year olds in order to party, i mean those who are real friends with those 5, 10, 15, 30 years older then themselves. They were usually those who got along well with friends of their parents.
On the flip side i know so many people older than me that i have completely lost respect for. Some are mean, angry, negative, immature, do not learn from their mistakes, and some cant think for themselves. It really hurts me and makes me lose respect for those who use other peoples negative experiences against those who went through them.
Being wise is a decision you make in every situation. Wise people seek out other wise people that they can learn from. They many times choose to not make choices thy already saw go badly. They surround themselves with people who they can learn from and who will be honest with them. They ask people to keep them accountable.
Wise people are generally smart but smart people are not all wise.
Do you know anyone like this?

Sunday, October 25, 2009

I dont want you... but i dont want anyone else to have you!

why do we do this to ourselves. It starts as children, we aren't playing with a toy.. in fact it is a toy we don't even like very much. Another child starts eying the object abandoned on the floor, you drop the much cooler more interesting toy you were paying with, the other child reaches for the toy, you begin to freak and cant get over there fast enough to snatch the toy out from the other kids hands.
it evolves through our tween to teen years into the opposite sex. You date someone have tons of fun and slowly drift app art, soon you don't even look forward to seeing them anymore. You decide to call it quits. months go by (for some people days) and you found someone much more suited for you. Your out on a date with that person a you see the ex... WITH SOMEONE ELSE!!! How dare they! what do they see in him/her. What makes them better then me? He/she isn't even that good looking. All you can think about is your ex and hating the person who "replaced" you completely ruining your date with the person who actually wants to be there with YOU.
I've been guilty of this sad to say. I have also been the receiving end while my boyfriend watches his ex who has "moved on". this causes pointless wounds, the two of you broke up for a reason and you and your significant other are together for a reason. we need to focus on bettering what we have rather than envying what we don't even want.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

new! santas little helpers! super cute! i also do customs!

my sister in law... ironically also named Victoria Rocca, gave me the idea for these. they are fun to make... PS i make all of these be hand. i like being hands on with my work, it takes longer but it is more personal! these are also 2.50 (plus shipping if needed.)
Snow man and gingerbread ones to come. modifications to any are completely fine (may cost extra)
below is for shipping in the united states email me if you would like the shipping cost for outside the US at

I am sorry i am not sure if they would get to you in time if i sent them now, but if you are willing to take the risk email me at
and they will be back up next year!!!

Mother vs me

Must they really butt heads can the ME part of mommy (mom me) come out. can i advance myself as an individual and still be a good mom. I think it IS what makes a great mom. It is near impossible to be the best mom you can be for your whole family without doing things for yourself. Up until today i have felt guilty doing ANYTHING for myself, feeling like i was being selfish, getting a babysitter to go to the store i rushed forgetting half of my list to not be gone from them and feeling guilty having fun doing "me" things. I ignored my priorities and only focusing n what my kids wanted or needed. This made me grouchy, tired, resentful, and exhausted which in turn makes everyone cranky in the house which feeds my fire. it was all put in perspective for me today and it will take time to no longer feel guilty at all but it has taken a HUGE load off my shoulders and mind. I feel oddly at peace.

Saturday, October 17, 2009


i am making these by hand and selling them for $5.00 each plus shipping if needed combined shipping for more then one. You can purchase them through my Etsy shop
They can be seen in The OC Television show season 2, i fell in love with them and want to share!

You can email me at for special orders I can make them in other colors and I also make an elf version, Or if you want a larger order. (Updated 10-21-2011)

Domestic violence

people l the time wonder, "why do thy stay in the situation?" well most times it in not only physical, it is emotional (usually he way t starts) they are beat down so much on the inside they believe it is what they deserve and this man loves them. They are usually very caring individuals who a lot of ties were abused when they were younger and it is what they are used to. They see themselves the way their significant other tells them they are, they use him as a mirror. The girl protect the one person they shouldn't alienating all the people they should listen to and want to help because he tell her to.
Many times the attacker does it because he was raised hat way or he has self confidence and ego issues. instead of dealing with these issues he take it out on the one person who is head over heals in love with him. He uses her to build his self esteem and ego by belittling her.
I have had friends in these situations and it is so hard to deal with because the more you talk about the situation and try to help the less you can help and soon they are not "allowed" to see you.
This is the same for controlling situations. The guy (or girl) feel they have no control over their own life and want to prove they have control and start asking you everything you are doing, call you all the time, make you explain why you need to do those things, why you need to see those people, then start telling you where you should work, who you would see, and what you should be doing. they, a lot of times, push the issue of moving in together, buy you cars, go shopping with you and try to take up as much of your time as possible. They call even more when you are with people they don't want you with. They make you leave functions they are not at early. It is so sad watching people in these situations!
Another reason they have a hard time getting out is they are told over and over if they leave they will kill them or the next guy. Girls ho doge out a lot of times become stalked by the ex and he begins threatening future relationships ad family. He doesn't want to lose control and will fight to the death for it.
Just remember it seems a little suffocating in the beginning it only gets worse. It will slowly become more and more strangling until you feel here is no way out! If you start alienating friends and family you should evaluate the situation and ask friends whose opinions you value and be completely open with them. you should have accountability partner in an relationship so you can keep your values and morals and be able to see things clear. if there are things you cant tell that person then it is most likely wrong. If you are lying about why you are leaving something or who is calling you KNOW it is WRONG! If you leave him you may you feel you will have no one but that's because he is telling you that. There are people out there to help you!

Friday, October 16, 2009

sex,drugs, and violence in video games.

it is bad enough for kids to be watching it but actively engaging in it through video games. I've seen kid as young as 7 paying Grand Theft Auto pulling prostitutes in the back of their cars and shooting down cops. its crazy how people are shocked by the rise of violence in school and drugs in Jr highs and sex with kids still in ELEMENTARY school. there were THREE pregnant girls in my small Jr high i doubt they were the only 7th and 8th graders having sex. The cops were at my school almost every day as crowds gather around kids beating on each other.
When i was younger i love playing, donkey Kong, Mario brothers, tetras, and Zelda. I know some of these have violence towards evil creatures but the games today have violence toward other humans and we are the bad guy! its crazy.

San Diego

We are being stationed back in San Diego next month. This means i get to go back to school taking GE classes and finish Cosmo school. I get to finish something for me. the last three years i have cast so many things for myself aside for my family but i feel it is time that i can do both. I'm house hunting right now so many good choices! i am excited to be living in the same place for 3 and a half years getting to make it feel a little more like home, decorate my kitchen the way i want be able to buy furniture without feeling like a waste because we will only be there for a few months. It feels so wonderful knowing we have a paycheck. my family all lives there and i have never missed our annual Christmas party and i was afraid this was going to b the first year i wouldn't be there. hey i get to use my zoo passes i bought in April!

just happy :)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

teen pregnancy

I know my tan lines are hot huh? i was 17 when this picture was taken. i may look happy but i was scared to death! was i going to be a good mom? i was so young and wasn't even done with high school when i became pregnant. i graduated from charter school and walked in my ceremony. i became a mom the second two lines appeared on 3 sticks. i had another person to think about.
1 in 3 girls are getting pregnant before they are 20 years old. if you make the choice to have sex when you are a teen you need to face the consequences. Over 250,000 recorded abortions took place to teens last year alone. It may seem like the easy way out at the time but the torment it will cause for years to come in your heart and mind will always eat away at you along with the physical complications which are extremely likely could cause infection, infertility, and even in some cases death. Yes you may feel the pressure and need to please your significant other at t he time and yes it is always different with this one, it wont happen to you, and you will get married. Of course this is not the case. yes you ma not gt pregnant, you may get married but it isn't for sure. don't mess around with things you aren't ready to handle. You don't get into a plane without knowing it has he possibility to crash, you are way more likely to get pregnant having "safe" sex then die in a plane crash so be even more prepared. have a plan,if you aren't a Strong enough couple to talk about a child bearing plan then you aren't ready to have sex! i was a teen mom! i chose life and am not with my baby's bio dad. he doesn't ever see his child. he would like to blame me for that but it really is all on him. i gave him plenty of chances and all he gave me were excuses. just BE CAREFUL guard your heart and body and have a plan. your body getting "ruined" and not wanting to tel your parents are not reasons to kill a baby yes think about t that child has a chance of becoming a human, f you don't interfere they will develop and eventually come out into this world and be are all living breathing human ho grows up to have a job and children of their own. you will forever e connected whether you raise them or you choose the adoption rout thee is always a bond. Also the guy is not a deciding factor in this, him asking YOU to have an abortion, is wrong, he doesn't have o deal with the emotional and physical problems the girl does it is completely selfish of him in every angle. he guy isn't as connected as you to the baby either (even in a married relationship) he will never know what it is like to have a person growing inside of him. Carrying and caring for a life is he greatest gift you can ever have! i feel really bad for those who cant.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

How rude

do you have those people in your life who are hard to love because they are just so rude. You may be one of them... They usually are quick tempered and the first to respond to a situation. You can never be right in their mind. Well rudeness is the weak mans way of imitating strength. They feel strong by putting others down and being funny at someone else s expense. What does that really prove, not that u are smart or better then them, it proves you are mean and rude.

any thoughts

Friday, October 2, 2009

The waiting room

Why when you have an appointment at the doctors office and show up 15 minutes early, as they ask you to, you still end up waiting 45 minutes past the time your appointment was scheduled for? then once you get n the room you wait another 30 minutes. But here is the best part, they rush through he appointment and don't listen to a single thing you when you waited a month for the appointment and payed a babysitter and or took time off work to get there. I know being a doctor has be hard work and irritating at times but the patients are real people with real symptoms who want real answered. I never seam to get those until i find them out for myself and bring the to the doctor. It is just so frustrating i have had different insurances and many different doctors an they have all been the same.

Thursday, October 1, 2009


What is the fascination with cemeteries. I mean i am drawn to them. There is a really cool one where i live. they seem so romantic yet freaky, dark, yet full of hope. I love walking through and reading all of the engravings learning about the people from the past. Wondering bout their lives and importance and what they could have done to change the course of the future. Thee people may have been related to me or Friends of people in the past possibly even enemies. They seem peaceful and quiet. Looking at families bringing flowers for those who touched them, those who are gone but definitely not forgotten.