advice

Why is it people seem to want to fix everyone else's lives while their own is a mess! Why should people listen to your advice when it isnt even good enough for you? I am all for getting wise council from people who admit their lives are not perfect and are not accusing but caring. I mean if someone comes up to give you marriage advice who has been married 5 times I dont think you should take it. :-)

live... laugh... love

life has taken a turn for bad... but i have to choose to live laugh and love. As now i am a single mom of two kids and my bank account keeps getting drained before i can get to the bank... i literally have nothing. but i think it is in the broken times that you find who you truly are. Yes i break down and cry and i think that is healthy and ok. I cannot pretend that life is peachy but i can choose to live in joy and choose to laugh at all of the situations in life that i can. I am not sitting around and moping i am finding things to fill my time and people to surround myself with. I have two beautiful boys that make me so happy and they love me unconditionally and i love eternally. I have learned who my true friends are through the situation as well. They called the cops for me 2 times to make sure i was safe and have surrounded me with protection. i do not want to get too in depth into what is going on but it is very bad and hard and trust me i am very proud of myself (as bad as that sounds) for how i have handled everything in this!

sorry it has been a while

life has gotten a bit rough but i am a fighter and i will survive! A lot of crud has gone down the last few days and lets just say there is no man living in my house right now. I have amazing neighbors and friends that are helping me and showing me tons of love and support. More then half of the friends left today to go out to sea! (as you know i live in navy housing) If any of you are reading this i miss you all and cant wait for you to get back and have a kick butt party for you all when you come home. Emotions keep flying past me and i cant seem to be able to be able to read them. i think i need some time to figure things out... like how the rest of my life is going to look. i have a lot of choices but the path i was on is NOT the one i want for the rest of my life. Pray i find the right path..

What would you do?

If you came home at 6:00 in the morning and your kids were playing in the street ALONE (1 and 2 years old) Well that is what happened to me a couple days ago.... I had a babysitter watching them from 5:20 am to a little after 6:00am. The babysitter was sleeping when I went inside and my oldest son (2 and a half) had gone upstairs and gotten my youngest out of his bed (i know because the light was on and the door was open which my one year old can not do. Also the babygates were all torn down (all 3 of them) which only my oldest can do went down to the garage opened the door (which is really loud) and went outside. They also freak out when they wake up so i know they were crying. How the babysitter did not wake up to any of that is beyond me!
Well needless to say i was TERRIFIED! they could have been hit by a car, abducted, CPS could have been called.
I went and talked to my neighbors and asked if they saw them outside and one said he left for work at 6am and they were not out there at that time so it had to of only been a few minutes that they were out there but that is still scary that she didnt hear it and things can happen in the blink of an eye!

Brother Julian

My oldest sibling! he is a year and nine months older than me. His the kind of guy that when he says something it is usually funny because he said it! He is a great road trip buddy because he isnt obnoxious and has a good taste in music (and he let me play beauty and the beast, be our guest, until we had it memorized) We drove from San Diego, California to Pensacola, Florida together in 3 days and we had a blast!!!! He protected me when we were in New Orleans from the crazies and he drove when I got tired, and he made me eat when i drank too much... (he is single, any takers? hehe)
He has lots of friends and loves to have a good time! He has an interesting taste in movies and TV shows and has an encyclopedia of movie quotes in his noggin and usually wins any games having to do with such. 

He has been working the same job for 7 years and is 22 that is pretty darn good! He loves to snowboard and is getting pretty good at it!
The Picture on the right is us in Mexico when i was 17 (i am not in the pic) and the worker took my beer away and gave it to Julian so he was double fisting the beers :)
 He doesnt know how to show excitement very well but he does get excited! He has his own inner way of showing it and you know that he is happy about things but he is a generally happy person and a joy to be around!

I LOVE YOU JULIAN!

Sister Jessica!

She is so amazing! She is caring and love to take care of the underdog. Someday she will make an amazing mother (even if it is just to snakes) -inside joke!!
She moved out and made it on her own at a young age, she is beautiful and intelligent and great with people. She and I have had some fun times together!
The picture to the left is when we got LOCKED in our room on the Mexico cruise for about 12 hours!!! We didnt care until the morning because we thought the door was just sticking but the dead bolt got STUCK in the door and they had to take the whole door off the hinges to get us out! So we spent 1/3 of our cruise stuck in our room lol while I tried to calm everyone down outside and inside our room! lol but I am glad it was her i was locked away with!
We also went to school together and my sister Jessica LOVES to jump in puddles! One day after dance class she was jumping in puddles in her ballet slippers. When my mom asked her why she said, "I didnt want to get my chucks dirty!" She always knows how to make a room smile! I LOVE HER!
One time we went to 6 Flags and she had hurt her knee beforehand and i had to push her in a wheelchair all over the place! (at least we got to go on Goliath a bazillion times) :) She is a charmer and an all around awesome person! If you are looking for a friend that will not stab your back she is the most loyal friend you can have! :)

I LOVE YOU JESSICA!

Brother Chris

I am going to write a blog about each of my siblings just because i love them! 

Chris is my only FULL biological sibling! The above picture is from 6 years ago!  He is a very honest and caring! When we were younger he was a bit of a booger but now we get along VERY well! We are 21 months apart (i am older)
He works on a TV show in the film department in a HUGE show called "Quilt in a Day" YEAH! :) He is going to college right now and is REALLY good at filming and editing and getting really good at acting! I am very proud of him!
He has a really sweet girlfriend who i love and they better get married because i dont think another Sister in Law can compare! :) the picture to the left is of them! AWWW!
We have had many ups and downs but he is still there and i love him TONS! :)

Technology!

Is technology becoming ridiculous!? Are we creating needs unintentionally! Who really needs the IPad right now? I can bet you we will create a need for it and soon people will not be able to live without it! We did that with radio, then casset tapes, then CD's and then MP3 Players also with Plays, to Radio, to TV, to VHS to DVD to DVR to (blue ray maybe... hasnt really caught on yet) There are so many other things as well. What is next? What will we need?

Why is it so hard!?

Why is it so hard for me to take a day to myself and not feel the need to be productive! I feel guilty even thinking about asking for someone to watch my kids without a reason, "i just need alone time" is so hard to get out. Well i finally did it and my mom watched my little ones for a whole day for me! I got to watch TV (the shows i wanted to watch ) Go to the grocery store childless, do a pole aerobics lesson, go to Lowes with a friend. It was nice! I highly recommend taking some me time.THANK YOU MOM

Mother's Day

I had a GREAT Mother's Day surrounded by family and friends! I really hope you all did as well!
It is so important to remind all of the mothers in your life that they are here for a reason and are doing a great job and motivate them, not just for one day but every day! (of course this is if they are truly doing a good job)
Life throws a lot of curve balls our way and we need the reminders!

Food Revolution

I think the show is shedding some VERY MUCH NEEDED light on the subject. Childhood obesity and diabetes rates are SKY HIGH we need to be so much more cautious about what we are feeding out children and ourselves. Weight is not genetic.... why then are the children who are overweight have overweight parents? Children learn from watching us and by us taking the easy way out and handing them an unhealthy salty snack we are teaching them to crave salty things as snacks. There are so many options out there that are easy and cheap that are so much healthier. For example; raisins, unsalted trail mix (or making your own), natural granola bars, fruit leathers, berries, fruit, fiber bars, lunch meat, cheese.
Another HUGE problem is potion control and a way to minimize this is if you know there is extra food put it away and in the fridge before you serve dinner, accept the veggies they can eat their fill of those. you don't need to cut out any food groups as a diet just learn how to eat it in the best possible way and the correct amount. We all know about the food pyramid but do we ever use it?
I hope this helps someone and if you have any suggestions or comments feel free to post away!

High Heels of Little Girls?

is it wrong to put high heals on little girls. The media has eaten up that celebs are putting their little girls in matching styles as themselves all the way down to the high heels they are wearing.
I believe wearing high heels is a right of passage into being a young woman. But after seeing what they do to women's feet (bunions, deformities, injuries) why would you want to start this at a younger age. Do i think that you are a bad mom for letting your little girl wear heels? No i do not but i dont think it is the smartest choice.
What do you think?

The Bright Side

When you are stuck in a situation that you cannot change why dwell in all of the negativity? As of today i am making a vow to you as my readers and to my family to look at the bright side of situations. Of course there is a time to mourn and a time to be sad or angry but i am talking about after that, do not stay there. Look for the beauty and the lighter things in life and talk to people and surround yourself with people that are positive

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/victoriarocca

Work Out

there are so many things we can do in our free time and throughout the day that can make us healthier. I step on every step twice in my house so that i do a little extra, I do standing crunched while waiting for my food to cook. I use my coffee table for elevated crunches. Park in the furthest parking spots to get more walking in, Just make it a habit! There is no excuse for not doing something to take care of your body.
Do at least 30 min of cardio 3 times a week to make your workouts more effective and stretch after your workouts.

50 followers!

When i have 50 followers on this blog i will be giving one random follower a prize for being loyal! It will be something fun and exciting!

Remember make life what you want of it, be kind to people and love everyone! I will be having another contest after this one, a picture contest of the person who looks like they are having the most fun in a boring situation! :) so start sending me those pictures and i will upload them on here when i have 50 followers!
My email is usanavictoria@yahoo.com (and you have to be a follower to win this contest as well)

Life Should Be FUN!

Have fun with your family! Go places that you have always wanted to and make adventures out of everything ! If you get lost make it fun, explore where you are and make jokes about it! Don't be afraid to act like a kid when out and about. You get one life, so live it to the fullest!
I want people to remember me as fun, caring, a great listener, and loving.

Now of course you need to be able to discern the right time from the wrong when it comes to having fun and not taking things to seriously. There are many situations that will come up in every one's life that are very serious and friends that need someone to just listen and be there. I am talking about every day life and little bombs that go off in life, from being lost to tripping and falling.
I make my house kid friendly so there arent very many no's here because there are enough no's when we go out and about so we can just have fun. I make jokes when i change their diapers (boppers) I splash with them in the bath tub, I dance with them daily, I make fun snacks for them and non of this makes you a super parent but it takes so much stress off of your shoulders and helps you actually LIVE LONGER and be a much more liked person.
Your homework- when one of those little bombs goes off in your life (whether you burn dinner or someone cuts you off on the freeway) make light of it, laugh about it. You are alive and well and you have dinner to burn or a car to be cut off. Find the good things in life! 

Yellow Sun Glasses

Some say i do not have mommy style, I wear funky colors and strange clothes every day. Here are some examples of my EVERYDAY clothes and i love every minute of it!

I love the converse i cried when they became unwearable.

Johna Feets, Johna Feets, Do the beats, with your Johna Feets!

My footsie PJ's (they glow in the dark!)

My Yellow Sun Glasses! <3

One of my favorite shirts (that i am wearing right now) that i made for the Pirates of the Caribbean midnight showing  as seen in the next picture which i am pregnant in! :)

I have so many other outfits and items that people say are not grown up but i think you should wear what you want and think looks good to you! If you want to wear polka dots and stripes GO FOR IT! If you are a good person and a wonderful mother it shouldnt matter what you are wearing on the outside (as long as it isnt vulger) then it is FINE! and all the power to you girl!

Pole Aerobics

I did my certification class for pole aerobics this weekend and it was quite a workout! let me tell you! I see a fun future ahead of me! I was so sore after 8 hours of working out! It was intense but GREAT! I will have my website up soon with pricing and appointment times that are available! but it is an amazing way to work out, have fun, and feel sexy!

Man Steals Money From Girl Scout!?

This guy stole over 400 dollars from a girl scout who was selling cookies! What kind of person does thing! yes it is nice that someone gave her the amount she lost plus bought cookies for the troops and she was given a bunch of prizes, but that DOES NOT excuse the evil person who did this! I was a girl scout and i would sell cookies like crazy and get so excited for every sale, even though none of it went to me, but if someone steals something that comes out of the girl scout. She owes that money to the charity. The man who stole the money was cruel and it shows the evil in this world.
It is sad that women have to hide their diaper bags because of thieves and cant feel safe with their children playing right outside their homes and it is because of people like him!
i am sorry but this makes me really sad and mad!

Work to live or live to work

I sometimes find myself going through the motions to get to the next day just to start the same thing over again. there are always things you can do whether you are a stay at home mom or a workaholic to make your day not only productive but fun.
If you are a stay at home mom make games out of the tasks whether it is changing a diaper or picking up toys. Say funny things and make jokes out of it and it will make the task less routine and mundane. I try to sing and joke around while doing the chores to instill in my children that chores are not something to be hated but something you have to do so you may as well make it fun. Sometimes you do need to get things done fast and there is a time to not make it a game and make sure to let your children understand that but life is also not about a list that needs to get done either.
If you are working fill the workplace with joy and fun things to look at. Make conversation and friends in the office and if you are the boss make fun outings and activities to get to know the people working for you and so they can get to know each other. Life is so much better on everyone when they feel like the management cares and listens to their concerns.
Just have fun with life. It is ours to live so lets stop going through the motions and start LIVING!

Kids Say The Darndest Things

My oldest son says the funniest thins! he is 2 and a half and the things that come out of his mind shock me everyday! we were praying at the dinner table and for the first time he wanted to pray without help. he starts "Dear Beasty Jesus, family, friend, baby Liam, food, AMEN!" oh my gosh i was cracking up! First of all i dont say "dear baby Jesus" when i start i just say "dear Jesus" and second BEASTY is that what he thinks they are saying at church? haha oh my gosh i couldnt stop laughing! everything has been a "beast" lately, and they are not a scary thing for him so i dont know what they are to him.
Also he started saying Crap and Damn it! UHOH! I when we are driving a person in another car does something dumb he says "FRICKIT CAR!" thats all on daddy! but oh gosh kids repeat EVERYTHING! i have to watch my damn it's and daddy needs to watch most everything he says! lol
do you have any funny stories about your kids and things they say!?

Just Friends

When you break up usually one does not want to and throwing out the "friend" card does not help that other person. Usually they need a CLEAN break in order to move on. it may hurt them more in the short term but in my opinion it is takes so much longer to get over that person (if ever.) There are certain people who can make the friendship work but most of the time one (or both) hate seeing the other person with someone else even if they dont "want" them for themselves. It usually is not a very healthy relationship especially if sex was involved. It also isnt fair to your future partners to have that person sticking around and you are usually to attached at that point to get "rid" of the friendship.

What are your thoughts on the subject?
any horror stories or good stories about this?

What i did to get back into my pre preggo pants!

It is NOT easy and it had a lot of aspects to it. starting a few days after my second child, I wore a girdle! I know flattering huh!? but your body is doing a lot of the work on its own (especially if you are breast feeding) I gained 60 lbs during my pregnancy and for the baby to be healthy you only need to gain about 25 lbs depending on how much you already weighed. After 6 weeks of laying around and recovering from my labor and delivery I was sick of the way i looked and wanted to feel and look better, So i took up Pole aerobics classes and they were fun and such a GOOD workout! I saw results after the second week, not just in appearance, but also in my attitude. My husband was in boot camp and I wanted to look amazing when i went to his graduation. i knew i wouldn't be perfect (this was a year ago) but i made it to a size 5! So between the girdle, eating right, The Wii Fit, and the pole aerobics classes I made it to my goal weight! i know i was not way out of the realm of healthy weight (i did not want to go back down to my pre pregnancy weight but i wanted to fit into some of my clothes, i was 108 lbs when i go pregnant) so i was at 168 and wanted to be around 125. I am now at 120 but it took WORK this time! I have always had a small build and when i gain weight it goes to all the wrong places. I am very happy with my look right now and proud of all of the work i did to get here.

PANG

Logan loves to watch his "Pangs" (the penguins of Madagascar) I love the show it is a major step up from Thomas! :) I just wish there were more episodes lol.

But he is so cute he walks around the house walking like a penguin saying "PANG PANG PANG!" all excited and the watches intently when he knows something is going to happen saying "oh no oh no"
my son is so adorable!

NEW BLOG!

i took some of the blog posts down from this one and moved them and added some new ones. I created Controversial Studios (intimacy edition)
http://controversialstudiossa.blogspot.com/
If you have any intimacy questions or want to know about different products or need some ideas go ahead and join or if you are just curious dont be shy! :)

Be Kind

There have been so many times I feel that little tug on my heart to say something to someone i do not know or give something to someone and i don't take it! I don't know why my fear gets the best of me because every time i have done it i feel so much better and i know that i made a little difference in the world. Of course i have had people look at me funny or just walk away from me but i know that i made a tiny impact. It is sad that people who help those that they do not know are considered weird and there must be something wrong with them. In California if you wave at someone (and you are not a little kid) you get funny looks. (that is not so much in small towns or the south when i lived there) but in big cities people have this view that they live in their own little bubble and everyone on the outside is below them. You never know who needs someone and it is worth it to go through a few people who don't need it and have bad attitudes to get to that one person who NEEDS it. The person who was thinking of ending their lives, someone who has no one to help them move (and happens to live right by you and you never knew) someone who needs a crib and you are done using yours. You will never know these things if you dont open up and talk to people.

be kind
say nice things to 5 strangers today!

The countdown will start soon

My new chair design will be starting really soon! People who follow me on my blog will get a discount! I can't tell you how excited i am! I am surprised how well it is turning out and i know i would buy it and that is actually how i decided to sell it. i went to a custom furniture designer to make myself a chair and the designer liked it so much that she told me that i should market them and she will make them to order so the people ordering can make certain aspects of the chair custom. I am going through the process of patenting right now and as soon as i am done the chair will be on the market.
That is not all that i am counting down to, i am being certified to be a pole dancing instructor, i am going to focus on moms trying to lose the baby weight an wanting to feel sexy for their husbands and themselves again.
I am also starting to sew some new clothes that will also be for sale custom to fit you! :)

SEX- caution aspects of this blog may be explicit!

Get rid of the excuses. If you are married the times when you feel like saying no and making excuses those are the times when you as a couple need it! Sex is meant to be in your marriage take that time and it actually helps with the exact things you complain about. you will get better sleep, be more relaxed, and will bring you closer together emotionally and physically.
If you aren't feeling very close and that is why you don't want to do it! what gets you closer than exploring each others bodies! Do not be afraid to experiment an make it fun together, you will learn so much about each other. Also do not be scared to talk about your wants and needs in bed. communicate, 9 times out of 10 he wants to hear those things! Go to the shop together and pick out lingerie or a new toy.
GUYS girls want your opinions and want you to tell them what you want to see them in.
Have fun!
We are called to be one flesh and the missionary position is not the only one! As a Christian woman i want to be the best lover i can. Do research find different things to surprise him with.
for example- surprise him with some oral, but instead of the usual put a vibrator against your cheek! he wont know what hit him. try different lubes and toys! see what works for you! but remember it is not a replacement for him it is for you to use together!
dress up, bring a little role playing into the bedroom. you can make just about anything sexy. Be a Dr, a student, the teacher, a pirate, a zookeeper, just be out of the ordinary. :) i have a lot of costumes and love wearing them. it is easier for me to be more wild if i am not "me"
buy a new game! that way you don't have to come up with the ideas the game will tell you what to do. they are fun but make a deal that it is ok to skip things if uncomfortable.
try something new! it can be an all the time thing it doesn't have to be saved for a special occasion!
check out http://xsandoslingerie.com/ for some ideas and gifts! it is the shop i work for. we do home parties and you can just come in but you don't have to shop there i just want you to have a good relationship and get close and know it is OK!

Military Life

When people say it is the life we chose so deal it hurts. You chose to have children or get into your cruddy job jet you complain to us nonstop. Your boyfriend chose to leave for a weekend and you can complain to me yet i can be sad my husband leaves for months with hardly any communication. Yes we chose this but it does not make it easy! we need friends around that are OK with that, friends that support us. i love the military life i have little to complain about but between my husbands 16 hour work days and the things he has to get done on his "days off" i feel like a single mom. i say days off loosely because lately he has been going in on those days as well. i feel sorry for him i really do and out marriage needs some days as well. he is exhausted when he gets home and i am proud of him for how much he is working and look up to him for his sacrifices for our family. it is just hard being the single parent without a car. we are trying to save up for second car right now but it is hard. i want to be able to go to work to help but with his schedule and the lack of a car or funds for childcare it is next to impossible. i am really hoping my pole dancing lessons and sales from my custom clothing and my new chair (that will launch in a couple of weeks) will help out our family!
sorry for the long rant lol i truly am a happy person!

ASA

I have joined a forum asailorsanchor.com it is a navy wives forum to meet women in your area or just discuss any topic you so well choose with women who GET IT! it can be so difficult to talk with civilians wives because there are so many things that they can not understand if not in our position. we need the support in knowing that those feelings are normal that you are feeling. They do not give you the answer we hear so many time.... "you chose that life" That does not make it and easier to be away from your spouse and basically be a single mom. It is not a place of complaining but of understanding. It has helped a lot for me and i hope it will help you.

i am so excited

i just finished the designs for my new chair! not the company i am working with is making a mock up and as soon as i approve it they will get to work on the real thing!!!! I am sooo excited you have no clue! They are called peek-a-boo pumps and they are going to be a big hit i can already tell. I have a store that already wants to sell them and i am sure i can get more when i start putting the word out there. The girl i am working with is the original one who sold the high heel chairs to Charolette Rouge and these are way better. I found a way to make them more sturdy and have 3 HIDDEN shelves in them for all your goodies you don't want people to see! Mine is going to be burgundy and tan to match my room and we are making them out of velvet and you can choose your color (some cost more than others especially if you want it to be a pattern) if you are a follower on my blog you will receive a special discount! I am still trying to figure out the cost, i am so bad with that. I am too easy going but my husband will help balance me out :)
Thank you so much

Thomas and Friends

my son Logan (2 and a half) loves Thomas and i don't mind playing with the toys or reading the books but the cartoon is just so darn boring! they just started making the faces move and are now more animated but the one voice thing really bothers me and i just don't understand how he likes it so darn much. he watched them ALL day long.
Not only is it boring but all of the engines are so mean and lazy and they never learn lol. I also someone is always "cross" because someone causes "confusion and delay," as well and being sad because they are not "useful engines" every episode is about the same darn thing. sorry i am just suffering from Thomas overload!

teen pregnancy #2

This is CRAZY but completely believable! The pressure to have sex as a teenager is unbelievable!

**********************
More than 10,000 teenage girls and young women took part in an anonymous survey over the summer on TyraShow.com, the Web site of “The Tyra Banks Show.” Survey questions focused on sexuality, sexually transmitted diseases and teen pregnancy, as well as drinking, drugs and violence among females. Here are some findings from the survey:

* On average, girls are losing their virginity at 15 years of age.
* 14 percent of teens who are having sex say they’re doing it at school.
* 52 percent of survey respondents say they do not use protection when having sex.
* One in three says she fears having a sexually transmitted disease.
* 24 percent of teens with STDs say they still have unprotected sex.
* One in five girls says she wants to be a teen mom.
* About 50 percent acknowledge that they’ve hit someone.
* One out of three teens has tried drugs.

**************************

I lost my virginity when i was 14 almost 15 and most of my friends did as well. IT IS THE AVERAGE AGE!!!! that means they are averaging girls who lost it at 18 and 19 in there so there are some in JR HIGH! there were a few PREGNANT 7th graders in my jr high and i don't believe everyone in that school who was having sex was pregnant! I was a teen mom and it is NOT EASY!
I luckily have never had an STD but i did not have many partners either, the guys i slept with were steady boyfriends i had for about a year before we started "sleeping" together. I am not saying it is right but i KNEW them and used protection. If you do decide to have sex BE SMART, PROTECT YOURSELF, and do not purposefully get pregnant when you are not ready. If you do not have a job that can support you both WITH benefits and you emotionally can not handle another human to take care of do not even chance it.
GUYS do you want to be connected to this girl for the rest of your life? Do you want to risk her missing a pill, or heaven forbid LYING to you about taking it!? Protect yourself as well. ALWAYS use a condom until you want a child. I know it isnt as fun but it is way sexier for a guy to care then to RISK it! if the girl complains then there is a reason and you should not be doing it with her anyways!
Thank you!

Seually Exploiting Ourselves?

What is the deal with the rampage of children exploiting themselves sexually? Girls you need to realize saying NO gives you so much more power than saying yes and sending that picture. The cell phones and web cams have become a huge problem for the younger generation. It makes it so easy to get around your parents and send pictures and videos of yourself. I have been there I know it feel like you wont get caught and no one will know. He wouldn’t send it on; he will keep it to himself. That picture or video is only a few clicks away from being on a webpage or being passed on to more people. Once you send it, especially online, it opens that part of you to the world, literally. Hackers, their parents and friends can see it if they get on their computer. Do you really trust this person, do you really know him? Your body is yours and you have every right to say no, and I have said it many times, saying “no” gives YOU the upper hand. I know it doesn’t feel like it at the time but it shows that you respect yourself and RESPECT yourself enough to not send it! When you respect yourself other people see that and will respect you and envy you for having the guts to not exploit yourself.
If you already have done this it does not make you damaged. It does not give every other guy an all access pass to YOUR body. You have the power to say no, it is in there.
PARENTS, if you found out that your daughter has been doing this it may not actually be what she wanted to do. She may just not have the respect for herself that she should. Every girl is beautiful and wants to be loved but that is not love. Remind your daughters every day that they are loved and that you are there for them. Let them know that you are there for them to talk to, and if they refuse your help it does not mean that they are meaning to disrespect you or they hate you. They are teenagers and many of them find it uncool and feel they are supposed to disregard your advice. Be careful, teenage problems and choices are very often much deeper than what you are seeing on the surface.

If you have any advice or stories you would like to share feel free!

Jealousy

What is with the jealousy in the world? We are all guilty of it to one degree or another. Why dislike someone for having something you want? What do you have to do with something good happening to someone else, their world (in most cases) has nothing to do with making you feel envious. By being jealous of someone is greedy, it is like saying if I can’t have it then I don’t want them to have it either. Try being happy for them, it will feel so much better than holding on to the resentment which is only destructive. Feeling that way wont get you what you envy it will only destroy you and your relationship with that person.
If the world could just be happy for one another a lot less heart ache would circulate. Maybe she is just dating your ex because she really likes him. Their relationship now is none of your business, if you are over it then you wont care. Maybe they got a really nice house because they wanted it and could afford it, not to show you up. That ipod was something they wanted too so why shouldn’t they get it if they can afford it. Her boobs are big and your flat, so what? Everyone’s body is unique. Even if she paid for it, that was a personal choice that you could make as well. She changed her body for herself. Why do these things have to do with you?
Next time you are jealous about something stop and think about how silly you are acting. Be happy for other people or just be indifferent if it is someone you don’t like. Remember hating on someone is the same thing. You don’t talk trash about someone who isn’t worth it. You obviously have something you feel inadequate about or else you wouldn’t waste your time picking out other people’s flaws.
Try to make the world a better place. Take the envy and the hatred out of your life and tell three people something you like about them today!

Thank you for reading and have a great day!

Selfish

I was watching Dawson’s Creek and Dawson’s mothers reason for having an affair is really interesting. She says that she got everything she ever wanted. Her husband is willing to satisfy her any way she wants, she has an amazing son, a great job, a wonderful home, yet in having everything she no longer was building up to anything. Then in the lack of disorder and the absence of goals and dreams (because she had achieved them) she decided to create the chaos.
This is the opposite of the picture of a cheating spouse, yes I know this is a TV show but the idea had to be in someone’s head. We usually hear that the marriage was lacking and the other person was not satisfying the needs of the others, they couldn’t talk about anything. They needed an escape from their chaotic life.
Can a life be too perfect. Is there just as much unhappiness in achieving everything you wanted as there is in looking at the list of everything you have yet to accomplish.
I believe there is always room for improvement and goals. New things come around every day, new activities and opportunities to stimulate your mind and life. I believe you can get stuck in a rut and I can see how when everything is going your way you can still feel unhappy and unsatisfied with life and feel a hole, a piece missing and you have no idea what can fill it. We look at successful people and their lives seem so perfect, they can have anything they want. Yet they can be the most miserable, negative people you ever meet.
When will people realize the things do not fill that hole. As a child I heard myself, along with my siblings, say, “when I get that I will be happy.” Then the next “that” comes along and we are no longer satisfied.
I am so much more joyful when I put more energy into doing and giving than I do when I am receiving and buying. Yes of course it is nice to receive things but doesn’t it feel so good to do something you know helped someone else, even if it is just listening. When you are feeling like going outside your marriage to fill a hole stop and figure out why that is. Is it selfishness driving you to fill this way? What can you do to that is completely unselfish for someone else? Try it, see how it makes you feel. Do not do it for the gratification and acknowledgement because that is still selfish.

What are your thoughts?

rudeness

Rudeness is a huge problem in our world today. I think it has become a way of ignoring your own social awkwardness and hiding your insecurities. I caught some of the Tyra Show today about people guilty of being rude. Here are a few…
Texting constantly, this one I find very rude. When you are with someone I believe you should put your attention into that person. Talking to other people while with someone (unless it is important) is also rude. If you need to take a call make it quick and let that person know you are with someone else.
This is one that bothers me that was not on the show, criticizing someone AFTER THE FACT. There are helpful ways of telling someone something. What I mean by this is, lets say you are at the mall with your friend and you notice their fly is down and you get back into the car after and say, “your zipper has been down all day.” Not helpful. Another is telling someone what they should have done differently! They can not go back and change it now so will they get out of you telling them this? They are most likely already beating themselves up over that situation and going through the ‘shoulda coulda wouldas.’
Eating off of other people’s plates. This one was actually something Tyra Banks herself does. I find it extremely rude unless you have permission from that person. I don’t know where your fingers have been and I definitely do not want them in my mouth.
Space invaders make me so uncomfortable. Do you know someone who doesn’t know the meaning of personal space? They talk in your face; you can smell their breath and feel their spit. It is just not pleasant.
Picking your nose! Eww I do not want to see that. Of course we all need to do it sometimes but use a tissue and go into the bathroom. Not in the middle of a restaurant. Also please don’t wipe it on things! People do not want to touch that.
Road rage is another extremely rude behavior that I have written about before. The people in the car do not need you yelling at them and the people in the other car can’t hear you. Besides the fact most of the time you just did the same thing to someone else and you think it is stupid and get mad at the people that are pissed off at you. Road rage only really hurts yourself and causes stress that you don’t need.
What are some rude behaviors that you have or people you know do that bother you?

diets

Why don’t diets work?
I think the reason for this is because of the mindset a diet gives people. The first thing that comes to mind is “what am I not able to eat.” We feel like we are confined and it makes the food we are “not allowed” to eat that much more desirable. We get on this high in the beginning and want to follow the diet to a T but as the weeks (and for some people days) go by the other foods grab our attention and it starts with one acception, then the whole diet is “ruined.”
Instead of a diet we need to concentrate on portion size. We throw away the mindset of cutting things out and focus more on how much am I eating of everything. I suggest buying plates that are portioned out. Do not keep the extras on the table and put some of it away for leftovers before you even dish out the servings, if you make more servings than the amount of people eating. Eat foods that are high in fiber because they keep you full longer.
Another thing you can do to keep yourself from over eating is finding activities for your hands to do. A lot of us start snacking while we watch TV and before we know it the whole bag of chips are gone. Keep a project near the TV that you want to work on whether it is a nail file, a paper and pen, sewing materials, crocheting needle and yarn.
I recently purchased the Wii fit plus and it is AMAZING! It keeps you accountable and helps you know if you are in the right range for your weight based on your height and you can even work out on it while you watch TV. I like doing step aerobics while I watch shows. It has tons of great activities that help you with your posture and balance along with yoga for flexibility and strength training to tone your muscles. It also has an area that you can input other activities you did throughout the day to see how many calories you are burning. I have gone on almost every day because it is a fun way to exercise in your own home. I made my own workout routine that has helped so much with my balance and coordination. You can set a reasonable goal for your weight on the Wii. It tells you how much a safe weight to gain or lose is for you for the time you set to achieve you target weight.
Those are some alternatives to diets. It is about a lifestyle change not a goal to achieve. If you do not reset your way of thinking about food you will most likely keep falling back into the same habits over and over again. Food is not an enemy and it is not a companion when you are depressed or lonely. It is not a hobby so try to stay away from it when you are bored.
Thank you and if you have any suggestions feel free to post them.

New Years Resolutions

New years resolutions are meant to be shared. Once shared they are not to be judged, looked down on, or offend. They are decisions made by that individual that they shared in order to find accountability and support. The decision is for that person making it.
I knew my new years resolution was controversial but it is a decision my husband and i have been discussing and decided together that it was a choice we wanted to make.
This year i want to find an amazing family to be a surrogate for. I have watched first hand the miracle in action. I have the ability and i love being pregnant and would love to do it for someone and give them the opportunity to have a family of their own. That is my decision and new years resolution.

Have a wonderful day and make your dreams become a reality.