Dont trust the protectors!

Seriously get out of the military if you don't care. the country is counting on you to be there and do your job to protect us! show up and do the job asked of you! I hate that people are just coming to the musters when they feel like it, not showing up for duty, getting out of everything they can, and are just acting lazy! It is not a free ride to go to school and then you don't owe them anything. You knew the military meant work. Those fools are bringing all of the people who want to be there down and are doing their work, like my husband! He is sitting in the galley eating because we were supposed to go to breakfast and then church but instead the SAME idiots didn't show up so now they have to muster every hour until they do. Fat chance... one guy leaves for 29 days then shows up on the 29th day because on the 30th day of being UA he would be kicked out. He just strolls back on like he owns the place on the 29th day. I am so sick of the lack of honor courage and commitment! Is this what our country has become? A bunch of self absorbed people who care nothing for the good of mankind. I know there are MANY amazing men and women in the military fighting for us and taking on tasks they have never even dreamed they would have to do. These kids have never been on a tour they don't know what hard work is. if they its hard to show up they don't know what they got themselves into. people are getting kicked out of this TRAINING COMMAND! every day by the bunches for things from not showing up, to underage drinking/ providing to underage kids, to rape! I hear about it DAILY! It seriously makes me sick to my stomach!!! Think about all of the men and women who actual did something were in the battles and risked/lost their lives!!! Do you think your a hero for making it through boot camp? no that does not make you a hero. You are a hero for doing your jobs and going above and beyond, taking your job seriously, and being willing to put it all on the line. Get your butts in gear and start being the heros you should be!

trapped

Trapped
Do you ever feel like you are trapped in a box unable to get out. It is hard to breath or move. You are watching you own life go by unable to interfere. You watch yours3lf make decisions that you never thought you would. You are screaming at yourself for your complete disregard for your morals ad beliefs. You don't know how you got here. Why are you doing these things?
Your life has flown by with no input from you. Your stuck. You don't know how to change it. How to get out. How to become the person you know and love. There is a stranger who has take over your body, threw you in the box, and locked it. I recently escaped from my box. I felt through my childhood and teen years that i was a stranger looking in. i did things i didn't want to do and told myself i never would. Gave up the rights to my morals and beliefs. I have taken them back, broken the chains and am now in charge. My morals, values, beliefs and thoughts are mine. I wont let that be taken from me ever again!
Keep your guard up don't wind up trapped.

Ring Ring Hello

I HATE IT When people are in a fight and super angry at each other. The gloves are off the issue is super heated about something really important, like the toilet paper being on the wrong we, and then the phone rings. They both look at the phone. The hand reaches for it and places it on their ear. Now comes the part I hate, they say in the sweetest voice, "hello.... oh how are you.... I am fine... No you didn't catch me at a bad time.... " All the while the other person is stomping their foot and you both are scowling ready to pounce as soon as they push the off button! So obnoxious!

leashes for children

I have one for my son. If i didn't then there would be no way i could let him out of his stroller anywhere. He twists all around if i try to hold his hand and i am afraid of dislocating his arm, he wont let me hold him, he runs off to whatever catches his attention and he is an adorable blond hair blue eye boy who loves talking to everyone and that scares me to death. I just feel so bad when people i don't even know come up to me and tell me how wrong it is to have him on his leash (which is the monkey one and he LOVES wearing it) He sees it and starts putting it on and hands me the "tail."
I know not every child needs one some like to stay with you and are shy and or cautious. If you child is like that you are lucky but mine is a little lightning bolt, and we all know those are fast and never strike the same place twice!
What do you think of children's leashes... cruel punishment or a useful safety feature?

singing in the car

Oh how I wish I could sing. I mean I have the capability of singing, but not without making people plug their ears… I don’t care though I roll my windows down, crank up the tunes, and sing to my hearts content! Goodness some albums you cant help but singing as loud as you can; Katy Perry, Ashley Simpson, Hillary Duff, Shiny Toy Guns, All American Rejects, just to name a few. Even if you don’t necessarily like them and don’t make a habit of listening to them with people in the car when N Sync, Spice Girls, or Backstreet Boys come on you cant help but turn it up! Haha I love it! I get weird glances from strangers in cars and some people that join in all the time! I don’t care, it actually adds to the fun! Anyone with me on that?

Blended Families part one

It is so hurtful to the children when you divide them and look at them in levels. I was on the receiving end of negativity on my fathers side. He remarried this woman who I used to adore! She was nice and charming and had this daughter who soon became one of my best friends. I would come home to my mothers house and tell her all of the wonderful things she did with us and the great times we had having family dinners and family outings and playing board games. Soon the division started...
her daughter (who I never disliked through this we remained friends outside of their house) became obviously favored in that house. She lived there half the time and my brother and I were there every other weekend. My dad isn't one to start things or say that we should go out to the park or the movies or spend time together, he is a nice guy too and relies on other people to tell him what he wants to do. I think it rubbed off a little on me.
Christmas was always hard on me as a child, the presents were very obviously piled higher for one child. (by the way my sister is only 1 month older than I am) It really wasn't about the fact that I received less it was the obvious favoritism towards her. During the weekends I was there i would love spending time with my sis, her mother would get jealous and send me to my room to play away from her while she spent "mother daughter" time with her. She did get her other days too. This happened most weekends. I felt very alone in that house yet to try to bond more with my dad I moved in for a school year, BIG MISTAKE! It got worse and worse even though the excuse that she is there "half of the time" was no longer there the same things kept going on. I felt very ignored, my father (i believe escaping from life) watched a lot of TV and was very distant from me.
EVERY thing i did seamed to be wrong so i avoided things even more. One day i couldnt get a hold of anyone to pick me up from school not knowing it was a half day on Wednesdays and walked home, I knew the combo to the garage so i was able to get into the house (we lived less then 1/2 a mile from the school and other kids were walking too) I got in huge trouble because someone could have kidnapped me (i am 13 at the time) and i could have been killed. 2 DAYS later my step mom told me it would be easier if from then on I could walk to and from school. WOW! I still haven't gotten over the irony of it.
I decided to move out of that house the end of the school year and after that my father and I went about 3 years barely talking, I hardly went over to their house anymore maybe once every couple of months to see my sister who was born when I was 10 from my step mom and dad. The reason for this was because they said that I was no longer welcome in that house! It was the saddest thing to hear as a 13 year old girl.
Another Christmas I do not remember what year I went to my step mom's families Christmas party and my step sister did not go with us. When we were opening present guess who had NONE in front of her "I did not know you were coming" was the excuse yet my sister had many sitting waiting for her, y biological brother received a few (a fifty dollar mall gift card and some clothes) I sat there pretending to feel included in the family.
My mothers family did the whole blending thing PERFECTLY! They included my step brother and sister with open arms (after they got used to the fact my mom remarried lol they loved my dad) Christmas is always fun and warm and we all feel like a family! Everyone was included the the annual grandchildren Christmas party my grandmother throws! Everyone is open and talks and laughs and eats. We feel together. I just wish i could feel like that with my father.
I have tried several times to tell them how I felt growing up and how unincluded and alone I felt and they just don't understand! I am sorry big venting blog here! but there is much more to type on the matter but if you have a blended family make all of the children equal and included. Set time apart to get to know your step children and let your family know how much they mean to you and that they are your family! The people and things your spouse cares about are things and people you care about! They are human beings with emotions and lives that will live on past the time they are with you but the way your family is shapes them and their futures! I have a feeling a few more blogs like this will be to come! Sorry if it is irrelevant to you, but if not please listen, think about the hearts of those children and how you would feel in that situation, how alone it already is as a child and how you can make the awkward stages go by so much easier. You don't want to push your spouses children away from their mother or father! It isn't right or fare!
Thank you

REALLY?

Goodness there are so many people who do this and it bothers me so much!!! I am guilty of it to and it bothers me even when I do it and I am in recovery from the "really" disease.
You start saying a story to your friend about something out of the ordinary that happened to you, "When I was on my way here I almost hit the emo kid that had his hood up and was obviously listening to music, i came within inches of hitting him and he didn't even know it ever happened,"
The reply, "Really?" NO NOT REALLY I JUST TOLD YOU FOR NO REASON! who started this? who was the person who started spreading the "really" disease? It is really annoying!

Body Modification

I think body modification is an expression of ones self. Just like coloring your hair to be more "you." Yes it is more extreme than that I completely agree but if someone if uncomfortable with the way thy look or they want to bring their inner self out I don't see anything wrong with that. I want plastic surgery, having two kids before i was 20 did quite a number on my body, my stomach butt look like i got a skin graph from a zebra, My boobs are much smaller and just not as flattering as they were before and I just want to be back to the way I was. The industry I am in is all about beauty and I don't feel comfortable being naked I try to so hard but it just isn't the way I feel on the inside, therefore I am getting surgery but only to look the way i did before because this isn't me. People stare at my stomach when I am in a bathing suit and it makes me even more uncomfortable. I am perfectly fine with plastic surgery, it was actually my dream job when i was younger.
Tattoos are amazing and piercings are awesome. My husband and I had gauges in our ears, we both took them out when he joined the military. I have a tattoo on my back and look forward to getting more! I have a Monroe and have also had my nose and my belly button pierced on the top and bottom. I think they are a beautiful expression of who you are! Your body is a part of who you are internally. I see it like putting makeup on it changes our appearance. I know many people see it as MUCH different and I completely respect that. The clothes we choose to wear and the accessories we choose all are an expression of self, bringing the inner self out. I see tattoos and piercings as accessories. That's my view whats yours?

Wash Rinse Repeat if needed

How many times do we have to tell people the same thing! We can say it in different ways and they always say the same thing after your rant. Some way or another they say they will change whatever it is or they will do better, try harder, be nicer, think more about your feelings, include you. Whatever the situation entails. What is the deal with that? I know it is mostly women saying this and the men who don't listen, don;'t take this the wrong way men. Why do you think the stereotypical problems in relationships is the woman is a nag and the men don't listen.
I am really really trying to not be a "nag" with my husband but sometimes it gets so frustrating hinting at things and reminding gently when it isn't working and i know it is annoying when i repeat myself to both of us! I do not like doing it at all! I do not want to be a nag! A couple of weeks ago we both got better about this on both sides! Although i think it is because He is willing to listen and gave me permission to remind him and he wouldn't get mad so i don't have to get angry. He also has permission to tell me when i am being a "nag."
This doesn't only have to do with significant others it has to do with everyone! children, coworkers, friends, parents, we are all guilty!

Bless You?

I hate it when people sneeze and get angry when people don't say bless you. Are you really worthy of every ones blessing! What about sneezing makes you so special? I try to sneeze as quietly as possible so no one hears it and I could care less if someone "blesses" me for it! Besides you are spreading virus' and bacteria into the world so it isn't like you did anything amazing that would make me want to put blessings upon you. Do I say it when I hear a sneeze... yes but that is because I don't want the whole "bless you, thank you" phrase coming all from their mouths in a rude snotty way... Ah makes me so annoyed!
Just one of my many pet peeves!

The guy in the background

Are you ever going through your pictures and notice someone in the background you don't know making a funny face or doing something weird. Sometimes it makes the whole picture amazing! It may have been a picture you may have deleted or thrown away but it was so funny that you just couldn't. I wonder how many pictures I am in that people notice i am doing something embarrassing. I am making a weird face or bending over and they have my butt in the picture. I want to see some of those i think it would be funny! How many other worlds am i in. These lives are all around me and all i think about is my own a lot of the times, and the people that fit into it. A weird thought I know

squeaky doors

Every night when i put my son down for sleep and i go to close the door it would SQEEEEEEK and he would wake up. Goodness this is a frustrating situation. So i would just leave the door open for about an hour until i knew he would be out enough that he wouldn't budge. Well i got a better plan. I took the medicine dropper and filled it partially with vegetable oil and put it on the hinges IT WORKED AMAZINGLY! No more squeaky doors! Just thought i would share this with you!

Peer Pressure

Why do people feel the need to get people to do things they don't want to do. Is it the need to prove that you can make someone do it. Sometimes you get something out of it like pressuring someone to go further then they wanted to physically or getting someone to let you cheat off of their homework or test, but do you really feel good about it? What about getting someone to drink when they don't want to or smoking or driving faster, just getting people to do stupid things they don't want to do? Do you get a sense of self worth for this?
People, don't give into this! You are a stronger (MUCH STRONGER) and smarter person for sticking to what you think and know is right. Stay true to your morals and values. You have the right to choose for yourself on what is ok and not ok for YOU to do. Do not stoop to their level. You show you are a better person then them. Also it is much more fun to watch drunk people then it is to be drunk! Especially the next morning :)
So come on use the space between your ears!

The Most Annoying This About Going To The Store!

You get to the store, you are running behind schedule and you spot it! The perfect spot only a couple cars back in the lot. You go to pull in and then you see it! your face gets red! words slip out! Its wiry frame mocking you. The squeaky wheels ready to start rolling at the slightest tap, a breeze could possible roll it into the side of a $20,000 car. A SHOPPING CART IS SITTING THERE RIGHT WHERE YOU NEED TO BE!
What the flip is up with that! Why cant people walk a few yards to put the cart away!?!? What is worse (like what happened to me the other day) is when you come out to your car and there is a cart up against your car with a HUGE scratch down the side of it! Thank goodness it is a surface scratch but it never would have happened if the person put it where it belongs! I ALWAYS put them away! It bugs me so much! If you are guilty of thins knock it off its potentially costing other people money getting scratches on their cars buffed out! Sorry just a little P.O.ed right now.GRR

Are People Impatient

Nothing is fast enough, the freeways, red lights, school, work, waiting rooms, commercials (even when fast forwarding them), cooking our food, loading a web page, time, the list goes on and on.
The funny thing is most of the things took even longer long ago. We now have microwaves for our food, the funny thing is we still take the food out a few seconds before the beep, then instead of letting it sit the minute or two we eat it and burn ourselves because we couldn't get it fast enough. The speed limit gets raised but we still see how much we can push the limit to get to our destination a few minutes earlier. We see a light turning yellow and floor it so we wont have to wait at a red light. We used to sit there while our dial up Internet would take sometimes minutes to pull up a web page, now if it takes 10 seconds it isn't fast enough. We are wanting it all and we want it NOW! I am definitely guilty of this. Yesterday I had the thought for this blog because I myself took my food out of the microwave two seconds before it was done, i couldn't wait those two extra seconds out of the minutes i was saving from using the microwave instead of the stove for my quesadilla? It was pretty silly of me. Do you have any other examples?

Pheromone Cologne

I have the most wonderful perfume that i bought at X's and O's lingerie and gift boutique http://xsandoslingerie.com/ in Escondido California! it is a pheromone perfume and it WORKS! haha my husband always is all over me anyways haha but he put it on a few times without telling me to test it and all of those days i was all over him :) so i suggest all you married couples get some. It brings out your natural sent, if you and some friends all put it on in 20 minutes you will all smell different it is so weird! It is amazing!their website is http://xsandoslingerie.com/ I don't know if they have it up but you can write them i believe it is $16.99. Or you can go in and check out all of their inventory! their address is 156 West Grand Avenue, Escondido, CA 92025. It is owned by an amazing couple, They do not sell pornography they sell things that are meant to be used together! If you know what I mean! They also sell Tons of Halloween costumes in all adult sizes! If any of you get the pheromone cologne let me know how it works for you!

Is America Gving Up!

In our lives what we start out loving we end up leaving. We get so excited, our dream job calls us back, we scored an interview. You go and nail it! You got the job! A year later you are extremely miserable. The guy next to you breaths to loud. An obnoxious lady always eats the stinkiest things in the lunch room, your boss (who happens to look like a star wars creature... most likely jabba) is constantly hitting on you in subtle ways. The receptionist has the worst breath and the walls are closing in on you. The once beautiful thing when all of these didn't bother you, some of them were even, in a strange way, you liked the odd quirks!
We buy a house, a fixer upper that you think is FABULOUS! You got a great deal on it and it will cost less to do the work! You start doing the work yourself, you are loving it! you get to choose all of the aspects of the house, the carpet, the tiles, the wall color and texture, the counters and cupboards and maybe even adding in a couple of adjustments like a sunroof, some ceiling fans, a bar from the kitchen to the dining room and it will all be amazing! A month goes by, you are frustrated and complaining about all of the work you are doing and all that you have to do still. It seams like a never ending project. The thing that you were loving turned out to be your worst nightmare. You give up and hire someone, yet complain the whole time at how they aren't doing it the way you would.
We get into a relationship, butterflies seam to have taken up permanent residence in your mid section. You long to see them. Everything about them is perfect, the way they look, the way they eat, the way they breath, the way they smell, the kiss, the hugs, holding hands makes you giddy, when your phone rings your heart leaps hoping for that one name to be on the caller ID! You are so in love, some minor fights but nothing serious, you work perfect together. He pops the question she says YES! The planning starts. The big day finally gets there and everything is beautiful and wonderful! A month or two after you start your journey together the breathing is too loud, the chewing is repulsing, he smells terrible after he gets home, her breath stinks in the mornings, That's what they really look like under all of that makeup? The butterflies haven't been seen in a weak. A couple years later you are sleeping as far apart from each other as you can in the bed, your pray they aren't the one calling you, what are they going to ask of me now? Soon the D word gets thrown around more and more. then it become serious! someone gets the papers, out of hurt and anger the other signs and then it is over!

We need to realize there are positives and negatives to everything! We can't just give up on everything we don't like or bothers us!

any thoughts?

Puppy Love

Is amazing! As a military wife i get to feel it often. When he is gone and I get to see him again, right before i am going to see him I get those butterflies and the kiss is like the first one all over again. I long to hold his hand and it makes me happy knowing he feels the same. Anticipating seeing my face. I get all dolled up (as if he doesn't know what I look like in the morning.) The next couple of days are like the first months. That longing feeling is something I never want to go away. But it does. We become human again, we argue we fight, we make up. We have bad breath in the morning and smell after we work out. We get irritated and make messes and say stupid things. But we love each other.
I think it is the puppy part of love is what starts the glue binding, it gets us hooked. We just need to work at not letting the glue wear off and need to keep adding to it! We need to work at these relationships! I want out statistics to go more in our favor. Things get hard TOUGH everything gets hard! we have this mentality that when things aren't going OUR way then we can just leave it and start over with something new. That's going to be the next blog!

Happy Reading!

Chat Rooms

What is an appropriate age from a page like facebook or myspace. I got one when I was fifteen but my mom had my sign in and password, i hated it because she thinks its fun to read EVERYTHING and comment on it all. It is hard to feel privacy or for your friends to say anything somewhat personal to you, which a parent really wouldn't care but the friend does. But it is ok and it is the right of the parent to monitor things that are going on in their roof. even for them just knowing that you have access will help them think before they do silly things. This is something my mom and step dad did very well they knew the dangers we were too blind (as children) to see. They knew the people on there are very good at making everything seem ok and glamorous. The people on there seem amazing and perfect and trap you. My mom put a program on all of our computers so that if certain words come up or certain web pages were looked at she would get an alert. She respected when we told her not to read an email because our friends said something personal about themselves that they didn't want others to know.
Doing things you wouldn't normally is easy to do over the Internet because of the distance between you. There is lots of cyber going on from the class presidents, A students, and even the "church girls." On the computer they feel it isn't really them and the person doesn't know who everyone else sees. You can be whoever you want! Now with digital cameras you can take whatever pics you want just upload them onto the computer and then delete, most laptops have cameras built into them, its easy and easy to cover up!
A lot of girls, i believe, in this second life generation are two different people. The one society sees and their cyberself.
Girls just be careful especially if you don't know the guy on the receiving end. Most times the don't actually care about a cyber relationship so don't just assume you are the exception because he has a life outside of the Internet just like you. There are real girls around him and real friends. Guys can compartmentalize they can have a "Cyber Girl" box and a "Girlfriend" box or a "Dating box" and when dipping in a different box don't even think of the other boxes. PLEASE BE CAREFUL ON THE INTERNET! It is so easy to say what you think the other person will want to hear especially in writing! And as girls it is easy to be swooned by these things that guys say.
I suggest for a mom the rule should be no friends on the Internet you don't know in real life and talk face to face.

Should all jobs allow men to take paternity leave

I believe so. It is very difficult as a new mom, in pain and exhausted to get the rest you need and care for the new little bundle of joy. Fathers also need that bonding time, women have an automatic maternal instinct men have to work for it, that is why there are so many more fathers that leave the families to "start over" then mothers. It is also why mothers usually have the majority custody in divorce. I am glad they give military men paternity leave because many tie they will become disconnected from their kids and they need all of the bonding they can get. I believe it should be this way in the mainstream work, all men need it.
I can't even begin to explain how much the mother needs someone there to help and it is best if it is the father. The way society is now that women work and share the same responsibilities as men in this world so why should only the woman care for the new child? Especially after all of the work they just did, the nine months of pregnancy and hours of labor (whether or not she had an epidural it still hurts.) Please listen to her and help her it is a very emotional time.

Fast Food

People who sue restaurants (fast food or otherwise) because they get fat or heart disease or high cholesterol. I don't think anyone was stuffing it down your throat! I think eating from those places is perfectly fine in moderation there is nothing wrong with splurging every now and then. Its the 3, 4, 5, 10 times a week people that have problems later on. It is so easy and cheap to go through the drive through and order off of the dollar menu. "two burgers, a large fry, an apple pie and an extra large DIET coke" that is how we justify it. We blame everything but ourselves for our problems. But they looked good, they had a special, they they they. Why don't we say i thought it looked delicious and wanted to buy it, it is my fault for my cholesterol, i shouldn't eat out that much!
Super size me made McDonald's look like the bad guy but they really aren't doing anything wrong. Yes they have high fat content and sodium. Their food is not nutritious but they aren't shoving pounds and pounds of it down your throat! You are not horrible for eating from these places but don't blame other people for your problems! It is possible to be addicted to food! There are clinics for people who have these types of addictions. Carbs are addicting and if you cut it out of slim it down in your diet you are very likely to crave it and have withdrawals from it. The same from sodas and chocolates. Drug addicts have to admit it is their fault and their choice we should start looking at our own addictions. If something comes to mind try cutting it out if you cant it is probably an addiction!

Opinions Are Not Facts!

Please don't judge other people for not doing things your way! Moms who decide not to breastfeed aren't evil horrible moms, formula has not been proven to cause any terrible things to babies.
STRETCHMARKS, so many people have different remedies and preventions for these evil things! I did them I did the gross things and still got them EVERYWHERE . I have them on my stomach, my chest, my sides, and my butt! I rubbed coco butter all over myself several times a day making myself oily and creamy and nasty and spent lots of money and I have them BAD! I am so sick of people saying you shoulda you coulda!
Punishing their kids a different way, some spank, some use timeouts, some pinch, some take things away, some send them to their rooms, some yell, all kids are different they need different discipline! what works for your kids doesn't always work for others kids.
ORGANIC, people are not bad for not eating all organic or feeding their kids all organic, it is an expensive hard choice to go all organic. Not everyone can afford it! Yes i feel better when eating more organic foods and non processed foods but they have not been PROVEN to expand your life.
Just please stop thinking you are doing it all right and others are doing it wrong. Different is not wrong.

Road Rage

We are driving down the road, we are in a hurry. We slow down at stop signs instead of stopping and looking, we cut people off and look at speed limits as suggestions. We are halfway to the destination moving at a good pace, you might just make it in time when suddenly someone CUTS YOU OFF! The words start flying out of your mouth, one (possible two) fingers get raised. We catch up with them riding their butt. We get to our destination and by this time are so heated our whole day is ruined! But how many days did you ruin? How many people did you cut off? How many accidents ALMOST happened because of YOU!? You may have been in a hurry but the person who cut you off might have been in an even bigger hurry, wife in labor in the seat, someone hurt on the way to the hospital. Choose to ignore it, we all have cut people off for our own selfish reasons why can't people cut us off? We get mad and wonder why others take it so hard when we cut them off or do something stupid while driving? Next time think.
Another thing, do you ever get mad when there is really bad traffic and people drive in the emergency lane? Well my friend was in labor and went to one hospital that does not accept her insurance so she had to RUSH to the next hospital but there was traffic and she was 6cm dilated! They started driving down the emergency lane, people got pissed some person pulled out in front of her and stopped so they couldnt go. The driver got out of the car ran up to them and explained what was going on ANGRY and the person felt like a jerk, which they were. So think! Don't end up in that situation.

BOUNDARIES

In relationships it is very important to have a mutual respect and care for each other emotionally and physically. You should be able to talk to each other about boundaries, if not you don't know each other well enough to start dating. You need to stand up for yourself! If it helps write it out so you dint forget things, the way this should work is that you DO NOT COMPROMISE! You need to agree that the person who has the most strict boundaries is the one that you both follow! You do not compromise because that is not truly caring for yourself and that also is not respecting the other persons feeling about the subject. If the don't feel comfortable doing more then holding hands or kissing then that's as far as you go and you make it clear. If the other person tries to pressure you to do more that is NOT the relationship for you because they are not respecting your boundaries and caring for YOU, they are caring for their own WANTS! They are not needs and if someone tries to tell you "I have needs that you are not fulfilling," they are lying and being selfish. They have WANTS you are not fulfilling.
It is SO hard as a girl and I fell into that trap of longing to PLEASE him. You care for him so you go with his boundaries and what he wants and stop thinking about yourself and what you were comfortable with. You soon become numb to the things you are doing because you aren't doing them because you want them and you are ready for it. You then don't realize why that relationship isn't working and it is because there isn't respect on both sides, they don't respect you and you don't respect you! You become depressed and don't understand why. When the relationships fail you become devastated because you gave him so much of yourself.
When the next guy comes you would feel guilty to give him less then the guy before because you like the new one more so you slowly give more and more of yourself that you never wanted to give in the first place. But you are not doing it for you because YOU feel is right and how you imagined it would be it is for the guys that don't stick around forever. If the other ones didn't work out, what was the common factor? It was them being selfish and you not having self respect. We need to turn this around, realize our sexuality is our strength and if he really likes/loves us and cares for us he will understand it isn't just something we do it is something we feel and will keep with us the rest of our lives and unless he can guarantee he will be the one to marry you and isn't just wanting a good time he isn't ready for it either!
When you get married you will regret EVERYTHING you did with the guys not just the sex. Also GUYS you will regret it too and in the back of the girls mind no matter what you say she will always be a little hurt by it as well. ESPECIALLY if any of those people are still in your lives. Please be careful and respect yourself and if the other person doesn't respect you it isn't right!

Should girls ask boys out?

No, boys have very sensitive egos, even though they do not want girls to know about it. Boys long to be superior to us even though girls secretly have the upper hand. they can ask and put themselves out there but we hold the power to make it or break it. Our next words choose our fate for the next weeks, months years, possibly the rest of our lives (and/or theirs). Our lips that enthrall them, mystify them, are the one thing they cant control as much as they long to. We need to take that back, we need to think about things, just because a boy likes us doesn't mean they are worth a yes. A no will keep them coming, if they truly like you they will come back, and that's when you truly have the power. If they go on to the next girl he was never yours to begin with. If you were friends first and you know him and truly do like him a yes is OK. Any relationship should be built on friendship, if my husband and I did not have a solid foundation of friendship it would have been over before it began. Just guard your heart and let him ask you, drop hints and if he doesn't get it then he is too dense for you. Be smart! And don't push any boundaries that you are not comfortable with you also have the upper hand with that! But that's another blog.

Missed Connections

Have you ever read on craiglist the missconnections section. Some of them are pretty funny. I wonder how many people get reconnceted and work out from that section. Here are some headlines from it...
"Arety's Angel" <----- which is a strip club close by (this guy must be high class :)
"Hot Fireman" <------ arent we all haha
"To ALL the women at _____ ____ last night" <----- this guy isnt picky haha
"cute bald guy" <--- I don't know why that was funny
"met you at peg leg" <---- hmmm
"You were walking around the neighborhood" <----creepy
"You were mowing your lawn" <----- to this girl he was probably the one that kept driving by really slow in the van with no wondows in the back... same with the one before this haha.
They are mostly men, there is most likely a reaso the didnt talk to you when they had the chance haha! I wonder if anyone ever looked for me on here :)
I dont know if any of you watch one tree hill but these remind em of the guy that pretended to be peytons brother! i wouldnt respond (if i was single) unless i remember him as well and he was someone i wanted to remember.
Do you see any funny or creepy ones in your hometown.

Are girls too mean to eachother?

Oh yes! Rumors fly, caddy remarks sneak out while they pass each other in the hall, they make smear blogs to hurt others and put them down, the get in fist fights over looks and stealing boys. The competition to be the prettiest, smartest, most popular makes girls turn into vicious animals. I have even seen girls make fake web pages to get you to "add" them as a friend and then begin slowly talking to all of your friends trying to turn them all against them. They video themselves beating up another helpless girl and Putin them up on video networks. Girls get so scared and embarrassed that they stop going to school and are put in therapy and sometimes even lead to drugs and drinking to make the pain go away. A lot of time they are old friends that something silly happened then they decided to be enemies and make everyone else be their enemy as well. Girls going WAY out of the way to seduce a boyfriend just to be mean. It is just horrible, i was the victim to this in my school and CHURCH! wow never thought it would happen there! Prayer becomes a rumor mill for some which is a very sad truth. So be careful you reasons for telling people things that aren't about you.
Life goes on you shouldn't hold grudges towards people especially when they didn't do anything wrong. A lot of times girls will go after the new girlfriend of their ex with the mentality of "I don't want him but I don't want anyone else to have him either." It makes them feel like the next girl is superior to her when in reality she is if you stoop down to give her grief without doing anything wrong. I never understood this. High school girls are just ruthless and mean. So if you are one please be the one that rises above it all, its petty and will mean nothing when you get out of high school accept for those girls who mentally stay there the rest of their lives. They are the ones at the 10,20,30 year reunions still talking about grudges they had in high school and gossiping about people. Please don't be that girl!

Why must wives respect their husband?

Why in the bible does it say for a man to Love his wife and a woman to Respect her husband?

It is because the opposite comes natural. Men have respect for those around them love however is not natural, when things get tough they run. Love is a choice like i said in my other blog post. For women love comes easiest, we nurture, we care for, and we comfort. Respect is harder for us. Giving up of our feelings and thoughts to respect our husband. We like being respected but we do not respect our husbands decisions as much as we should, we take things into our own hands and are RIGHT! I do definitely struggle with this! I have the love part down but respect its something we don't understand. We need to listen and hear what he says, take it into consideration, be able to walk in his shoes. It is not that we need to bow down to his very whim that is not respect and that is not respect and that is not love on his part. It is our job to show them how to love and their job to show us how to respect therefore we both love and respect each other. If you haven't heard of Pam and Bill Farrel the have some great books to help you understand this. If you are in the beginning of marriage or thinking about getting married a great book by them is "The First Five Years" another is one that shows you how the other thinks and feels called "Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti" They are great books! The Love Dare which i talked about in the other blog about love is another amazing tool to learn how to show love and respect to your spouse whether you are male of female! Christian or not! the principals are all the same.

Our Money or Theirs?

Credit or Debit? We go over our limit to have the things we wish we could afford, we say we can afford the minimum payment and get excited when the minimum payment goes down and it turns out you are paying it off even slower. out of your 50 dollar minimum payment 35 goes toward the interest 5 goes toward you protection plan and you are actually paying 10 dollars off of your principle. Instead of building the credit we thought we were going to we miss a payment or two and owe an extra 60 dollars and soon you are so far behind on all of your 50 dollar a month payments from numerous opened credit cards that you start getting numerous calls a day from ruthless creditors that wont budge. Even if you pay them your credit is still scarred. You now find yourself paying more on every loan you have and it ends up costing you even more in the long run. How could we avoid this?
We can live one step below the amount we make, you will be able to pay for everything you need and you will have a surplus (even if not much) in case of emergency or for the future. We long for earthly possession and win people over with the fancy car or purse, the nice dress, the elaborate house. Instead we need to think about the families we have, the amount of room we need the furniture we will use, the car that will be most efficient for the children (if any) and husband. Do we need 2 car? Is it close enough to walk or ride a bike? Is the extra office in the house worth the extra 50,000 dollars.
Once our credit is ruined it is a hole that seams to get deeper and deeper. soon we are buried and we are avoiding the phone and throwing away mail before we open it.
When my husband and i were married we were negative without me even being aware of it. He had made many college mistakes that he didn't think would affect his future or his future families.
We now have a strictly cash budget which stops us from over drafting our account or getting deeper into credit issues. We have envelopes that we save and it only comes out if it is being used for that purpose. If you don't get holes in your pockets it may be a good idea for you.

Is love truely 50/50

If love truely 50/50? Do we really always meet in the middle? Do we see eye to eye? Are me on the same page?
We are human and always fall short and noone is ever giving the same amount! people always have bad days and therefore we will rarely meet in the middle, expecially once we are out of the puppydog love stage!

We need to look at it as being 100/100. So we can actually meet!!!!


This way when we have those imperfect times and dont give 100 we are still meeting eachoher somewhere! We need to focus on picking up the slack when our spouse or significant other is not holding up their end because sometime it will be their turn to pick up your slack!

Lowering the Drinking Age

In my opinion if we lower the drinking age after it has been 21 for so long I do not believe it will help the underage drinking issue. I strongly feel it will lower the age of the underage drinkers. 18 year old have a lot more friends that are in the lower teens and will gain help them gain access to the alcohol. This will lead to developmental and behavioral issues. Many 21 year olds are already very irresponsible with their alcohol content, I saw the same idiocity over and over again while my husband was bar tending. I find it more fun to watch drunk people then dink personally, but it saddens me so much to see those same people sneak away to drive home. There have been way too many deaths and injuries due to drunken behavior. I believe we are all connected with someone who has been killed or has killed because of driving under the influence. 18 year old drivers are already among the top to be the cause of accidents, do we really want to risk raising the percentage?
Why is it such a big deal to start drinking at a younger age anyway? Do you really need to add even more mind splitting headaches and vomit to your life? Face it most 18 year olds do not know when to stop. They don't drink just to have a yummy drink, they drink to get drunk, to feel the giddy, I can rule the world feeling.
Now the military has a proposition for making it legal for those in the military to be able to drink at 18 only on base or of course in countries where it is legal. I do believe this is fare considering they are able to go to war and have made that choice they should be able to make those decisions to drink. On base they can also monitor it. What are your opinions?

Pornography... Hot fantasy or a Relationship ruiuner

Should it be illegal. how many lives has it ruined? How many marriages are torn apart? How many children's hands need to get on it? When has pornography ever been productive for anyone besides the person making money off of it. It causes emotional issues for the people in the videos and on the person watching. It doesn't allow for proper emotional connection with others and is extremely addicting. It even takes away your ability (for a male) to be able to get it up so to say, after a while. It leads to expectations in others that cannot be fulfilled. It is can be a very expensive habit when it comes to your wallet. If you have been in a novelty shop like most Americans have you have seen the price tags on these. But it is now even easier to get ah old of, it is in almost every house in America, a stream to "live" shows, your Internet. Pop ups come up all the time, advertisements on the side of your favorite harmless website. Enticing you, drawing you in, "do you want to see more?" "No one is watching" "its just this once" "what is the harm?" The harm is its ALWAYS just this once. It is never an "Addiction." You find yourself saying "no i don't want to go out I am busy" When all you are doing is spending time with imaginary people. People you will never meet and have no interest in you! Just your wallet. You think this girl has relationships, do you think she enjoys the sex, its fulfilling her? She is an actress, she knows what to say and how to say it to make you believe. Look at your relationships with other people. If you ever say no i am busy but the things you are busy with you are embarrassed to tell them why you cant go out then it is an addiction and in your heart you KNOW it is wrong. If people wont "understand" it is because you know they shouldn't. Think of the people who find you important, and those you should find important!

Smoking

They are thinking about making it against the rules to smoke in all military branches. I think this is a great idea. The health risks are now known and proven, there is nothing productive about it. In the military you are considered government property and they do not want their property harmed. It is your choice to join, you know that they can make you do whatever they want. The rules are much much harsher on you than general laws. If you read up most of the punishments are death for disobeying their rules. That doesn't mean that they use this in excess.
Smoking can lead to lung cancer, throat cancer, heart disease, high blood pressure, blood clots, and if this happens then they will have to pay your medical bills which didn't have to happen in the first place if the person in the military had not smoked. Cigarettes are also becoming increasingly more expensive and it would be more beneficial for hem to be cut out of the budget. I see it as an extremely selfish and rude habit.
When i was pregnant (noticeably) i was at sea world, San Diego, and was sitting on a nonsmoking bench and three guys came up and sat right next to me and started smoking. I asked them to stop or leave and pointed out i was pregnant and this was a nonsmoking bench. They said they had the right to smoke wherever they wanted and i said that i had the right to breath fresh air whenever i want. It is a good thing pregnant women are scary because they put them out and left. :) But many times people just light up right next to people without asking if the people around them mind or finding a secluded place. I was sitting there first i had a right to sit there and breathe. I also am allergic to cigarette smoke i break out in a rash and my face breaks out when i am around those who smoke, more people are then people want to realize. My oldest son is the same way.
Society leads smoking to be sexy but what is sexy about stinky clothes and breath? What is sexy about being sick and coughing, throat cancer has never turned me on.

If you are a smoker reading this I do not have a problem with you, just think and be considerate of the people around you!

Weddings and Long engagements

I have been planning weddings for almost 10 years and the long engagements seam to add more strain on the relationship and more stress in your life, there is only so much planning you can do, especially since most girls have been planning for this one day in their lives their whole life!
What i have observed is that the simpler wedding seam to be the marriages that last the longest and seam the happiest because they realize it isn't about the day it is about every day after the wedding. Getting through a ceremony and honeymoon and opening all of your cards and gifts, that's the easy part. Living together, finding each others flaws, realizing the things you thought were cute now drive you crazy! You seam to not feel the love anymore.
The number one reason for divorce is financial issues. Then why do we insist on spending 10's to 100's of thousands of dollars on this one day instead of invention it into the marriage. A beautiful wedding can come from a minimal budget. My wedding in total cost just over $1000 including my dress and it was a beautiful wedding, yes i got some good deals on things for being a coordinator but not that much, I just wanted simple! I will post some pictures so you can see, my dress was a replica of a very expensive dress i loved... 170 dollars made to fit me. My flowers cost about 150 for all of 6 bouquets 6 corsages, and 6 boutonnieres. My cake was made by a wonderful student at the culinary institute for 75 dollars.. and let me tell you it was the best darn wedding cake i had ever tasted! Decorations were about $250. Food was catered by el pollo loco and was delicious and about $350 (paid for by my husbands family, thank you). my cousin made my veil which cost about 3 dollars for the fabric and i already had a tiara. My gifts to my girls cost me 10 dollars each which were these adorable snowflake necklaces and earring. My theme was winter wonderland. I loved it! my photographer was a friend. If you need to splurge on something make it the photographer and make sure they give you the right to your photos, either the negatives or a disc with all of the pictures! it is worth the extra cost.
These are my views on weddings. Less is More. Also my husband and i were already married before the wedding so it was a lot less stressful. but i don't suggest everyone do that.

Your views?

Racism

Before I moved to the South I had NEVER looked at another race as another species. They were never different from me. But now when i am nice to " them" i get questioned on my intentions when they are strictly honorable so that makes me looks at "them" as a "them" which I NEVER did before. And then I feel guilty because they aren't a "they" I don't know what to do. It makes me feel like i am being racist when I am not. It is really sad, if only people wouldn't have messed this whole thing up! We are people, we live and breath and bleed. Our hearts long for the same things, I just don't understand the whole racism thing. What is race, why do we look different? Well it is because people adapt to their surroundings, Asians have slanted eyes because of the high winds and cold in Asia, Africans have darker skin for the heat and amount of sun in Africa, whites really are the most vulnerable to our surroundings. We are the most fragile to wind and sun therefore should we be inferior to the other races because we are less evolved?

My issues

Right now i am having a lot of medical issues the doctors cant seam to figure out. When i was in labor with my youngest son the almost lost me, out of nowhere my blood pressure dropped really low like in the 70s... then they got me back in the 90s but then out of nowhere again it went to 50/20 and they didn't know why. So most of my pictures that are supposed to be happy i am wearing an oxygen mask. I would rather be alive then have cute hospital pictures though :)
Ever since then i will have random times doesn't matter what I an doing that I will lose my vision, it starts out as little dots then goes completely black! when this i had a mild chest pain. Now the chest pain is unbearable and it happens every couple of days. They think it is my hear, I think it is my lung. But no arguing with the doctors. My body I guess just doesn't take well to pregnancies.
The first one they left placenta in me so I bled for 4 moths! woohoo and had a REALLY bad infection and I couldnt get the doctor to check me! I also was hit in the stomach by the bio dad while i was pregnant and put on bed rest fir the first pregnancy. I was on bed rest the second pregnancy because i started going into early labor! i think that the problems now are definitely linked because that's when they started... any input?

Keeping Your Kids Out Of Trouble

Honestly Kids will find a way to get in trouble if they have their mind set to it. We were all teens, even if we weren't the trouble makers we knew them,
We also need to not tell ourselves our child is the exception. We discipline those we love and care for it builds respect for us. We still live under our
own self discipline and it first come from learning there are consequences for the things we do. We need to have an open relationship with our kids
where they have a healthy fear of you but can still come to you when they do something wrong and you help them fix it by figuring out a way that they
wont get stuck in that position again that is how you build self discipline, setting up a system that will keep you from doing the things you don't want to do.
Also when we were kids who were the people who were your friends no matter what you chose to do, whether you were partying, going to church, doing
your homework, got in a fight, or got caught doing something you weren't supposed to do. Teach them that true Friends will love them even if they do the RIGHT
thing.
Our children whether we want to think so or not are growing up in a harder world. Kids are having sex in Jr high and even Elementary school, drugs are being
offered to young children, and privacy is given in excess to children. They don't even have to tel their parents when they get an abortion or have an STD. You should be the safest place for them to come to but i should also be a challenge for them to tell you it shouldn't be easy but they need to learn to have courage. I was scared to death
when i found out i was pregnant but i knew my mom loved me and would help me, not everyone has that luxury but many people even if not your parents will hep you.
I was in no way a BAD kid i did things my parents didn't approve of, I didn't go to parties, I wasn't a druggy (i tried Pot a couple times but it wasn't a habit) I didn't
want to be bad. I did have sex in high school and i regret it now but I was in no means a skank of the school. I wish i had waited till i was married but that is another blog.
I just want my kids to be able to come to their mother and father when they are in a bind, if they drink too much and cant drive home and need me to pick them up,
if they get their girlfriend pregnant, if they get caught stealing something, if they are depressed, (i will definitely let them know i am not OK with it but
i want to be there for them through their hard times) it is OK to be mad and they know they are in trouble. I know some teens believe they have the RIGHT to do these things and that is when this doesn't work. But even as a young kid let them come to you when they do minor things and they will trust you with the major things.
Kids will find a way to do what they want to do, just help them find fun things they like to do that they don't need to sneak around to do. But always remember it is
not your fault for the CHOICES they make, everyone has a free will.

Love... a choice?

Love

Is a choice! Even when things get EXTREMELY hard you can choose to love your spouse. My husband and I have been through a TON in the 2 years we have been married.
You must, however, realize it is not letting the other person walk all over you! It is about not stooping to the level of the other person when acting stupid. As humans we ALL make mistakes, but that cannot be our excuse for making them. We must apologize for what we do and not expect other person to forgive, but you have to know they will never FORGET! Dint expect them to.
Earning trust back is another hard thing to do, but not being able to trust the other person is even harder. It is easy to get mad at the other person for not trusting you but remember that you are truly mad at yourself! Remember be tough on yourself and tender to your spouse.
You also shouldn't hold what your spouse does over their heads, it will cause both of you to resent each other.
I STRONGLY suggest doing the Love Dare to your spouse even if things are going well, but especially if you are finding it hard to do anything for or with them. It really helps you look at your relationship from a different view. The Love Dare is from the hit movie Fireproof, you Can buy the book at target or walmart or you local bookstore. You don't have to be a Christian to do it, it is the concept of all of the things in the book, they apply to all marriages. It is about true love! the purest form of love!
there however are things a spouse can do where even biblicaly it is OK to divorce such as adultery. but that also doesn't mean you cant make it work. but it is between the two of you no one else can tell you what to do.
Also you can't fall out of love! since you never fell into it to begin with. yes lust you can fall out of and that's when REAL love comes in! If love was easy we wouldn't have the divorce rate we have, you need to work at it.

Don't be another statistic when you don't have to be. You choose to love.

Animal Testing

I have very mixed feelings toward this. I personally believe a human life is more valuable than an animals life, but i don't think we should do cruel things to them. But we wouldn't have the medicines to save lives that we have now if it weren't for using them on animals. I do not personally believe in animal testing for cosmetic reasons. This leads me to another what about practicing medical procedures, tattoos, or just dissecting in an anatomy class on animals?

I personally don't know what to think about these issues but i always found it a little unnerving the killing of animals for our own purposes. How many kids truly care about dissecting animals and will use it in a positive way? How many make a joke out of it? If the animal died of natural causes and you are using the information learned to help aid in saving other animals or learning what it died from that is different.

America; Nosy, Bossy, or Helpful?

We go to other countries with force wanting to change their ways. But what happens when we pull out of those countries? Will we always be there? Did we just dig ourselves a deep hole? How would we feel if another country came in here telling us we need to stop killing babies and blow up all of our abortion clinics or stop divorces or stop animal testing. They came in with their army killing people and we would definitely fight back! Don't you think? What are your opinions?

I personally think this is a great country but no country is perfect we are following men and no man is perfect and nothing they have made lasts forever.

Assisted Scuicide

Should it be legal?
I am very torn on the issue. If the person has a terminal illness and is in so much pain that they have to be knocked out in order to not feel the pain where their family has to watch them suffer the rest of their life. In this case when they will dies within Weeks but just don't want to suffer anymore should life insurance be affected by this?
On the flip side people have miraculously recovered even from illnesses that are supposed to be "terminal" when all hope seams to be lost. So how would they KNOW the person will die or recover? where is the line? should it be their choice? what do you guys think?
Part of me wants to say it is OK.

Controversial Studios

This is a place to voice opinions with no hurt feeling and no strings attached. No face to face fear. I need a place like this. In real life I often times am scared of sharing my feelings on controversial issues where there is not black and white answer. This blog is for gray areas. Beliefs and people will not be attacked but questioned. First I should tell you about myself. I am a Christian mother of 2, my husband is in the navy and my life is very hectic and I love it. I became pregnant with my first son my senior year of high school and graduated with a baby bump. My second I had 17 months later. I love them to death. My husband and I have had many problems but we both learned that we don’t need to feel love but we need to choose to love each other even when we are being brats. I am 19 years old, will be 20 next month, but I feel like I have been an adult for a long time. I am not judgmental towards others and love making new friends even those who have opposite opinions as I do. Feel free to write about anything. If you want me to post a blog about an issue write me and I will be more then happy to post it. I will try to post a new one at least once a week. Hopefully much more then that!


Happy reading!