MOVING

We are signing the lease tomorrow on our townhome. It is really nice 2 story/ basement(garage) townhome. I am going to go into paint right now and attempt to show you the layout! :) be right back



ok i am back... i tried to make it to scale... but it is really cool i just hope i never break a leg . a babygates are a must on all the stairs! I like making my house childproof not just for my own kids, but for when people who have kids come over they can feel at ease. I hate not being able to relax when i go somewhere because i am consantly having to chase logan around.

Lame

basically i say "lame" way too much. My husband makes fun of my for it, but i just love that word and it is better than saying the foul, ridiculous things that come out of other mouths entirely too much! :)
I hope you are all having a fantabulous day!!! If you ever need to talk anonymously to someone, wanting advice or just to vent or need prayer i am here for you! my email is usanavictoria@yahoo.com

have an amazing day!

try to make 3 people laugh today that need a smile on their face!

PS that is a picture of my friend Ashley and I doing the face from "cruel intentions" about 3 years ago :)

Money Issues

The issue isn't that we don't have money, it just is not in our hands right now! We just made a VERY long trip with our 9 month old and 2 year old from Florida to California. We drove the whole way and the kids were FABULOUS! i was so shocked at how great they did! So we are waiting for our reimbursement from the trip from the Navy, the people who do it have been on vacation so we have no choice but to wait. We also have been having problems with our old landlord, he acted completely fine until two days after he knew we were on the road. He then said that we didn't leave the house in perfect condition. When we moved in there, there were dents in the walls and the trees were a mess, the carpets were stained, the kitchen faucets was broken, the weed whacker was broken, the lawn mower had lots of issues, and the garage door never worked. We fixed or replaced everything (and even left him the brand new weed whacker.) the only thing we were unable to fix was the garage door. It was a huge pain because it POURS in Florida and i had two kids by myself i would have to get into the house so i would have to get out of the car open the garage door by hand, and i am a weakling so it took a while, and close it in the pouring rain! If you don't live in the south you wouldn't understand this rain it was so bad that you can't see through the windshield with the wipers on full blast, as soon as you step out of the car you look like you were dunked in a pool. The hardest part is that it could look completely sunny, you go into a store and come out and it is pouring! Ok, i know i got way off track.
Anyways he is saying that we did all of the damage that was already there and I would understand if he wanted to get the carpets cleaned or paint the walls, But he is wanting to charge us for the garage door which he knew didn't work and kept saying he would come and fix, and for "cleaning" by the way he is doing all of this himself and is saying he wants to charge us for what someone would charge! HE also does not want to give us our prorated rent because we "broke" our lease. We are a military family who gave him 30+ days notice and had to move! I know we eventually "should" get the money back through the legal system but who knows when that will be. But that is $1500 of our money that he has not including the amount it should cost to get the carpets cleaned and walls painted.

I just had to write this to vent. But thank you if you did read this. If you have any advice please I am all ears... or eyes.

Also take a look at the yamaclauses I have had many happy customers! a package is going out today! Thank you to all of you who have purchased them and I hope you have a Merry Christmukkah

What is the point in the negative thinking?

In almost every person i know i have heard them moan and groan about their job and how they wish they could quit! I HAVE THE PERFECT THING TO SAY TO THEM NOW! "Do it then!" They usually respond (after a lonnnng pause) "I can't"
"Well, why not. If you are that miserable and you don't enjoy it then why stay?"
"Then i will be out of work and wont be able to find another job."
"So what you are saying is that if you quit you wont be able to find a better job? Well then doesn't that mean you have the best job that is attainable right now?? Why are you complaining, you should be thrilled!"

It stumps them... you should try it! It is a different way of thinking about things that will blow you mind! People need to stop focusing on all of the negative things going on in the world. The news rarely had happy stories! When is the front page of a magazine about GOOD things? We should all celebrate what we have, and share them with others who are feeling down! We need to encourage and support and show those who we love that we are there for them! we need to love those who are hard to love and also in doing so love ourselves! You will see the more you help others the more it will build you up (as long as you do it with a joyful heart!!! )


PS. The yamaclauses are selling great on here i will post another blog about it if you want to place an order just know if i do not have them already made it can take a couple of days to make them! but they are on the next page of blogs! I am having a lot of fun making them for you and the money is really helping! I will write a blog later about money difficulty but i am still thinking positive and know that everything will work out!


Thank you for reading! Also, remember to think positive and tell 3 different people how something you appreciate about them today! :)

Guilt

I do not know a single person that Honestly does not feel any guil or shame, especially moms. I deal with it daily. I should not have fed him that? Why did i yell at him? I shouldn't need me time!
The truth is we put way too much time and effort into feeling guilty that is stresses everyone out and gives you more to feel guilty for. I am reading a great book called "The Guilt That Keeps on Giving." The author asks a question that sounds so simple but when you try to answer it, it is so hard. "What do you NOT feel guilty for?" hmmm... i put the book down, could it really be that hard to answer? We think so negatively bout ourselves that it becomes so hard to think of just a couple things we do right. I went on in the book and gave a few examples which made it a LITTLE easier to think of my own. Here is my list... it took a long time to come up with them and i copied a few from the book.
1. Making breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my boys
2. Letting my son splash in the bathtub
3. dancing with my boys everyday!
4. Singing my son to sleep
5. reading to my boys
6. Praying with them and taking them to church
7. taking me time when i am feeling over stressed
8. giving my boys vitamins every day
9. being so close to my family
10. watching the same kid movies over and over
11. playing with play dough wish my oldest
12. baking for my family
13. date nights with my hubby

those are what i could think of right now.

You try it. post the things you do not feel guilty for in the comments. and have a wonderful day!

A few of my favorite things

I love My Bissell Little Green Machine! Having three boys in my house it has gotten blood, wine, jelly, mud, juice, and many other things out of my carpet. It is SO worth the money! Mmmm it is a sad day when there is no milk in the fridge. I love milk, i think it is because of my dad, when i was little he would make me drink a glass of milk at every meal, now it feels weird not to. We go through a lot of milk in my house. Another favorite of mine is PLAY DOUGH! ahh i love the feeling squishing it in my hands and creating things. If i mess up i can start over. Te smell is so good too, just brings me back to being a kid and playing with my friend Stephanie every time i smell it.
Scarves!!! It is the only reason i like the cold! I get to layer and wear big fluffy scarves! :) In the summer i like the light little scarves you wear on you head or around you neck which brings me back to my moms convertible.

For more of my favorite things check out my youtube i will be posting it later today

follow your dreams

Why do people see beauty school as lower than going to college. If it is ones passion and dream then let them have it! It is hard yet fun. If you enjoy what you are doing you will never work a day in your life. I love the idea of making people express their true beauty and giving them the confidence that is buried down inside of them. Hair, skin, nails it helps people whether you believe it or not they are things millions of women take care of every day. What is wrong with bringing joy to people. I know so many young women who hid that they were going to beauty school, they shouldn't have to do this. So if anyone in your life has chosen that rout please support them because those are their goals and dreams, Do not instill your own on them.
Whatever your dream is GO FOR IT! any realistic dream can be a goal, you CAN accomplish them. Don't put them away for others or because you are embarrassed or think you can't or it isn't important because any dream is very important. Meet people that are going in that same direction, 6 degrees of separation truly exists, there are countless connections out there! If you want to be an artist go to conventions there are plenty of people wanting apprentices and would love to see your work, if you want to be a doctor talk to one ask what you should start with and take a position n the hospital to help. If you want to be a model there are so many connections but BE CAREFUL! Talent hunter is a great website that gets you connected and shows you where try outs are for modeling, acting, singing, or if you want to be a movie extra, sometimes they even ask for crew members for backstage. Just go for your dreams.
If you feel like you are headed in the opposite direction from your dreams and you have one down the wrong path it may be just the right path to make your dreams a reality. Kandee (a makeup artist her blog is kandeethemakeupartist.blogspot.com) said something amazing, Shattered glass shines so much brighter then a sheet of glass. It is sooo true, you can see someone who has triumphed over their past and has been broken down you see so much more coming from them. Just remember your troubles and sorrows are all part of you and use them when people need someone who has been through what they are experiencing.

wolf spiders

These spiders are nasty and they are in my house... i have no problem being the one to kill them, if you don't mind my screaming when i do it. The nastiest t hing about these icky creatures is they don't have webs where they put the egg sac they carry it between their legs and then when the eggs hatch the babies huddle on the momma spiders back. When the mom is harmed the babies go running in every direction. Every time this happens it grosses me out, i just go get my vacuum and finish off the babies... i really don't want more of these big guys crawling around my floor. i have been bitten by these guys and it is painful... blehhhh

Will people ever learn?

Avoiding doesn't solve problems or make them go away! It makes them so much worse. Hanging up on people feeds the fire for the next conversation, walking out of the room makes the other feel ignored and unimportant. Why do people do this????? It drives me insane! They then turn off their phone and make it impossible for you to talk to them. GRRR

Age =/= Wisdom

The saying "respect your elders" makes me question a lot of people. Wisdom is attained by those who live there life to its potential. Those who learn from their, and other's, mistakes. Those who use the negative along with the positive to better themselves. When they see someone going through an experience they try to help those people whether it is being there for them or giving them insite. They may, or may not, be the smartest people when it comes to book knowledge, that is not the key to wisdom. Have you known anyone who has a lot of older friends (i am not meaning the 21those in high school hanging with the 21 year olds in order to party, i mean those who are real friends with those 5, 10, 15, 30 years older then themselves. They were usually those who got along well with friends of their parents.
On the flip side i know so many people older than me that i have completely lost respect for. Some are mean, angry, negative, immature, do not learn from their mistakes, and some cant think for themselves. It really hurts me and makes me lose respect for those who use other peoples negative experiences against those who went through them.
Being wise is a decision you make in every situation. Wise people seek out other wise people that they can learn from. They many times choose to not make choices thy already saw go badly. They surround themselves with people who they can learn from and who will be honest with them. They ask people to keep them accountable.
Wise people are generally smart but smart people are not all wise.
Do you know anyone like this?

I dont want you... but i dont want anyone else to have you!

why do we do this to ourselves. It starts as children, we aren't playing with a toy.. in fact it is a toy we don't even like very much. Another child starts eying the object abandoned on the floor, you drop the much cooler more interesting toy you were paying with, the other child reaches for the toy, you begin to freak and cant get over there fast enough to snatch the toy out from the other kids hands.
it evolves through our tween to teen years into the opposite sex. You date someone have tons of fun and slowly drift app art, soon you don't even look forward to seeing them anymore. You decide to call it quits. months go by (for some people days) and you found someone much more suited for you. Your out on a date with that person a you see the ex... WITH SOMEONE ELSE!!! How dare they! what do they see in him/her. What makes them better then me? He/she isn't even that good looking. All you can think about is your ex and hating the person who "replaced" you completely ruining your date with the person who actually wants to be there with YOU.
I've been guilty of this sad to say. I have also been the receiving end while my boyfriend watches his ex who has "moved on". this causes pointless wounds, the two of you broke up for a reason and you and your significant other are together for a reason. we need to focus on bettering what we have rather than envying what we don't even want.

new! santas little helpers! super cute! i also do customs!

my sister in law... ironically also named Victoria Rocca, gave me the idea for these. they are fun to make... PS i make all of these be hand. i like being hands on with my work, it takes longer but it is more personal! these are also 2.50 (plus shipping if needed.)
Snow man and gingerbread ones to come. modifications to any are completely fine (may cost extra)
below is for shipping in the united states email me if you would like the shipping cost for outside the US at usanavictoria@yahoo.com

I am sorry i am not sure if they would get to you in time if i sent them now, but if you are willing to take the risk email me at usanavictoria@yahoo.com
and they will be back up next year!!!

Mother vs me

Must they really butt heads can the ME part of mommy (mom me) come out. can i advance myself as an individual and still be a good mom. I think it IS what makes a great mom. It is near impossible to be the best mom you can be for your whole family without doing things for yourself. Up until today i have felt guilty doing ANYTHING for myself, feeling like i was being selfish, getting a babysitter to go to the store i rushed forgetting half of my list to not be gone from them and feeling guilty having fun doing "me" things. I ignored my priorities and only focusing n what my kids wanted or needed. This made me grouchy, tired, resentful, and exhausted which in turn makes everyone cranky in the house which feeds my fire. it was all put in perspective for me today and it will take time to no longer feel guilty at all but it has taken a HUGE load off my shoulders and mind. I feel oddly at peace.

YAMACLAUS

i am making these by hand and selling them for $5.00 each plus shipping if needed combined shipping for more then one. You can purchase them through my Etsy shop http://www.etsy.com/people/YamaclausPrincess?ref=si_pr
They can be seen in The OC Television show season 2, i fell in love with them and want to share!



You can email me at airplanes_inthenightsky@yahoo.com for special orders I can make them in other colors and I also make an elf version, Or if you want a larger order. (Updated 10-21-2011)

Domestic violence

people l the time wonder, "why do thy stay in the situation?" well most times it in not only physical, it is emotional (usually he way t starts) they are beat down so much on the inside they believe it is what they deserve and this man loves them. They are usually very caring individuals who a lot of ties were abused when they were younger and it is what they are used to. They see themselves the way their significant other tells them they are, they use him as a mirror. The girl protect the one person they shouldn't alienating all the people they should listen to and want to help because he tell her to.
Many times the attacker does it because he was raised hat way or he has self confidence and ego issues. instead of dealing with these issues he take it out on the one person who is head over heals in love with him. He uses her to build his self esteem and ego by belittling her.
I have had friends in these situations and it is so hard to deal with because the more you talk about the situation and try to help the less you can help and soon they are not "allowed" to see you.
This is the same for controlling situations. The guy (or girl) feel they have no control over their own life and want to prove they have control and start asking you everything you are doing, call you all the time, make you explain why you need to do those things, why you need to see those people, then start telling you where you should work, who you would see, and what you should be doing. they, a lot of times, push the issue of moving in together, buy you cars, go shopping with you and try to take up as much of your time as possible. They call even more when you are with people they don't want you with. They make you leave functions they are not at early. It is so sad watching people in these situations!
Another reason they have a hard time getting out is they are told over and over if they leave they will kill them or the next guy. Girls ho doge out a lot of times become stalked by the ex and he begins threatening future relationships ad family. He doesn't want to lose control and will fight to the death for it.
Just remember it seems a little suffocating in the beginning it only gets worse. It will slowly become more and more strangling until you feel here is no way out! If you start alienating friends and family you should evaluate the situation and ask friends whose opinions you value and be completely open with them. you should have accountability partner in an relationship so you can keep your values and morals and be able to see things clear. if there are things you cant tell that person then it is most likely wrong. If you are lying about why you are leaving something or who is calling you KNOW it is WRONG! If you leave him you may you feel you will have no one but that's because he is telling you that. There are people out there to help you!

sex,drugs, and violence in video games.

it is bad enough for kids to be watching it but actively engaging in it through video games. I've seen kid as young as 7 paying Grand Theft Auto pulling prostitutes in the back of their cars and shooting down cops. its crazy how people are shocked by the rise of violence in school and drugs in Jr highs and sex with kids still in ELEMENTARY school. there were THREE pregnant girls in my small Jr high i doubt they were the only 7th and 8th graders having sex. The cops were at my school almost every day as crowds gather around kids beating on each other.
When i was younger i love playing, donkey Kong, Mario brothers, tetras, and Zelda. I know some of these have violence towards evil creatures but the games today have violence toward other humans and we are the bad guy! its crazy.

San Diego

We are being stationed back in San Diego next month. This means i get to go back to school taking GE classes and finish Cosmo school. I get to finish something for me. the last three years i have cast so many things for myself aside for my family but i feel it is time that i can do both. I'm house hunting right now so many good choices! i am excited to be living in the same place for 3 and a half years getting to make it feel a little more like home, decorate my kitchen the way i want be able to buy furniture without feeling like a waste because we will only be there for a few months. It feels so wonderful knowing we have a paycheck. my family all lives there and i have never missed our annual Christmas party and i was afraid this was going to b the first year i wouldn't be there. hey i get to use my zoo passes i bought in April!

just happy :)

teen pregnancy

I know my tan lines are hot huh? i was 17 when this picture was taken. i may look happy but i was scared to death! was i going to be a good mom? i was so young and wasn't even done with high school when i became pregnant. i graduated from charter school and walked in my ceremony. i became a mom the second two lines appeared on 3 sticks. i had another person to think about.
1 in 3 girls are getting pregnant before they are 20 years old. if you make the choice to have sex when you are a teen you need to face the consequences. Over 250,000 recorded abortions took place to teens last year alone. It may seem like the easy way out at the time but the torment it will cause for years to come in your heart and mind will always eat away at you along with the physical complications which are extremely likely could cause infection, infertility, and even in some cases death. Yes you may feel the pressure and need to please your significant other at t he time and yes it is always different with this one, it wont happen to you, and you will get married. Of course this is not the case. yes you ma not gt pregnant, you may get married but it isn't for sure. don't mess around with things you aren't ready to handle. You don't get into a plane without knowing it has he possibility to crash, you are way more likely to get pregnant having "safe" sex then die in a plane crash so be even more prepared. have a plan,if you aren't a Strong enough couple to talk about a child bearing plan then you aren't ready to have sex! i was a teen mom! i chose life and am not with my baby's bio dad. he doesn't ever see his child. he would like to blame me for that but it really is all on him. i gave him plenty of chances and all he gave me were excuses. just BE CAREFUL guard your heart and body and have a plan. your body getting "ruined" and not wanting to tel your parents are not reasons to kill a baby yes think about t that child has a chance of becoming a human, f you don't interfere they will develop and eventually come out into this world and be are all living breathing human ho grows up to have a job and children of their own. you will forever e connected whether you raise them or you choose the adoption rout thee is always a bond. Also the guy is not a deciding factor in this, him asking YOU to have an abortion, is wrong, he doesn't have o deal with the emotional and physical problems the girl does it is completely selfish of him in every angle. he guy isn't as connected as you to the baby either (even in a married relationship) he will never know what it is like to have a person growing inside of him. Carrying and caring for a life is he greatest gift you can ever have! i feel really bad for those who cant.

How rude

do you have those people in your life who are hard to love because they are just so rude. You may be one of them... They usually are quick tempered and the first to respond to a situation. You can never be right in their mind. Well rudeness is the weak mans way of imitating strength. They feel strong by putting others down and being funny at someone else s expense. What does that really prove, not that u are smart or better then them, it proves you are mean and rude.

any thoughts

The waiting room

Why when you have an appointment at the doctors office and show up 15 minutes early, as they ask you to, you still end up waiting 45 minutes past the time your appointment was scheduled for? then once you get n the room you wait another 30 minutes. But here is the best part, they rush through he appointment and don't listen to a single thing you when you waited a month for the appointment and payed a babysitter and or took time off work to get there. I know being a doctor has be hard work and irritating at times but the patients are real people with real symptoms who want real answered. I never seam to get those until i find them out for myself and bring the to the doctor. It is just so frustrating i have had different insurances and many different doctors an they have all been the same.

cemeteries

What is the fascination with cemeteries. I mean i am drawn to them. There is a really cool one where i live. they seem so romantic yet freaky, dark, yet full of hope. I love walking through and reading all of the engravings learning about the people from the past. Wondering bout their lives and importance and what they could have done to change the course of the future. Thee people may have been related to me or Friends of people in the past possibly even enemies. They seem peaceful and quiet. Looking at families bringing flowers for those who touched them, those who are gone but definitely not forgotten.

Insanity

Many more of us are insane then we know. the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again expecting different results. We say we are going to work on a flaw or change something but we never have a plan to do it different. In fact you say that same line every time "I will try harder" or "I will figure out a way." We need to make a different plan to accomplish the task. God intention is OK bt it is only the beginning. Take initiative, get an accountability partner who you know will hold you to our word. Also quit lying to yourself,you wont step lying to others if yo cant even be honest with yourself.

yip yip yip

ok so this has been bothering me the last lets see i think my mom got her dogs 10 or so years ago... ok well why do people get little annoying yipping dogs.. they don't even bark they do a high pitched whine at EVERYTHING! Well i thought i got away from it but y next door neighbors have 3!!! THREE!!!!!! All day and all night ear piercing yipping and yapping going on.. my kids cant sleep i cant sleep and we have 3 very cranky people in my house right now! 4 when my hubby is home! I a too nice to go over there especially since thy are partiers and always have very intimidating people over and i don't know i have heard horror stories of people jut going over and asking a neighbor something and they get found in pieces in the lake behind their house and we like on a lake... eek. should i call the humane society o give them a warning or what? They are always drunk with a bunch of people over. But i cant deal with a cranky mean 2 year old... AHHH Make it stop! If you cant control your dogs you shouldn't have the your neighbor deserve peace in ere own house

gone

my husband left today and i can tell this is going to be a really hard break. my older son Logan has been really sad and i am not far behind. tears have not been few in our house today. my license is still suspended which is sucky. i live in a strange land where i know no one. Logans birthday is tomorrow and we cant go out to do anything.
enough ranting

happy reading

Heart Problems

I am pretty sure we found the source of my heart problems! They started a couple of months after i started taking Yaz birth control pills and they now have a class action law suit against them for heart problems in young people due to them. I am really hoping this is the final answer because it makes sence and there is a solution! Sending my heart monitor back today and making a doctors appointmet! Fingers Crossed! It is just so frusterating when you know something is wrong with you but none of the doctors seem to know what to do about it. I mean if someone is complaining about chest pain you dont take months to do things about it. They said my age made them not very concerned.

Birthday

My birthday is tomorrow, I turn 20 which is a weird number to turn. I mean I will no longer be a teenager but nothing else really happens. Oh well one more year until my husband (who is 22) and i can go dancing places where there aren't a ton of teenyboppers pretending to be over 21. It doesn't feel like my birthday is tomorrow, I don't know what i am going to do or what i want... maybe another massage, a facial, or my hair did? i do want a Wii but i don't know how much mula is being sent to me for my bday :) ok so i know this is a random blog but so sue me it is mine!


LATER!

What is with people that always have to be right

I am not talking about people just needing to be right (even though that is annoying too) but people who want everyone else to be wrong! Why is it that putting others down makes people feel like they are above them and high and mighty. Even if they do not disagree with you they have to make you appear and feel wrong. The more you try to agree with them the more they switch things around. They are manipulators and self righteous people. The thing is a lot of the time they are manipulating themselves without knowing it so they don't even realize what they are doing thinking they are level headed and non manipulative. There is no arguing with them because to them it is a game. There are also no serious discussions because things will never go your way. They know just how to push your buttons and make you want to argue. They know the topics you feel strongly about and will want to discuss, this is just another manipulating tactic. Just be careful.

Budget

I have tried the whole credit card thing... good thing i learned at an early age cash is the best way i budget my money. I can see it and know how much i have for each thing. I have separate envelopes for saving, water/trash, electric, gas for the car, car maintenance, furniture, car insurance, kids stuff, groceries, date night money, credit card payments, student loans, babysitting, vacation, gifts, tithing, and a few others. I don't look at it as a lump sum, say i have 2000 i don't see that number i see that i have 600 in vacation, 150 in electric, 100 in gifts and so on. No more spending on things i haven't thought about and don't actually have the money for.

GUILTY AS CHARGED

Here are some randoms about little ol' me!

1. I am clumsy
2. I do NOT know everything
3. I occasionally lie to get my way
4. I don't sing well
5. I am not quick to share my opinion to people i don't know well
6. I am a Christian
7. I am a little messy
8. I sometimes forget I put things in the oven
9. I have stolen
10. I sometimes am very slow to apologize
11. I sometimes yell at people
12. I love to write
13. I am a great listener
14. I love giving advice
15. I love anallising
16. My mind and heart hold many secrets for many different people
17. I don't drive the fanciest car
18. I love prom dresses and have a bunch I have never worn
19. the same goes for shoes... :)
20. I play music really loud and dance with the blinds open because i love making people laugh even if it is at my expense.
21. I am very good at entertaining myself
22. I enjoy doing things for others
23. I like making people feel welcome when others aren't
24. I like moving around
25. I like going to classes
26. I get bruises that many times i have no clue where they come from
27. I eat lucky charms almost every morning
28. I love sour skittles even though they destroy my mouth lol
29. I took pole dancing classes
30. I have 5 siblings (2 bros 3 sisters)
31. I want to be an oriental medical doctor
32. I am fluent in ASL
33. I hate running yet love to dance
34. Electric music makes me bust a move :)
35. I hate the smell of bananas
36. I experiment with my hair
37. I bite the heads off of teddy grahams...
38. I sometimes assume things from people and am often misunderstood
39. I have two beautiful little boys
40. I love onions, mushrooms, tomato soup, and shrimp... not together
41. I like meeting new people
42. Disney movies are amazing... accept Pinocchio that movie kinda freaked me out
43. I write my aggravations out in order to not take them out on people but the internet kinda messed that up...
44. The Tenth Kingdom and Tin Man are my favorite miniseries
45. I do not have cable.
46. I steal my internet from my neighbors
47. I want to join the military as a pilot
48. I have lots of stretchmarks
49. A girl at my school chopped all of my hair off last year

Lots about me but there is plenty more believe me!

Dont trust the protectors!

Seriously get out of the military if you don't care. the country is counting on you to be there and do your job to protect us! show up and do the job asked of you! I hate that people are just coming to the musters when they feel like it, not showing up for duty, getting out of everything they can, and are just acting lazy! It is not a free ride to go to school and then you don't owe them anything. You knew the military meant work. Those fools are bringing all of the people who want to be there down and are doing their work, like my husband! He is sitting in the galley eating because we were supposed to go to breakfast and then church but instead the SAME idiots didn't show up so now they have to muster every hour until they do. Fat chance... one guy leaves for 29 days then shows up on the 29th day because on the 30th day of being UA he would be kicked out. He just strolls back on like he owns the place on the 29th day. I am so sick of the lack of honor courage and commitment! Is this what our country has become? A bunch of self absorbed people who care nothing for the good of mankind. I know there are MANY amazing men and women in the military fighting for us and taking on tasks they have never even dreamed they would have to do. These kids have never been on a tour they don't know what hard work is. if they its hard to show up they don't know what they got themselves into. people are getting kicked out of this TRAINING COMMAND! every day by the bunches for things from not showing up, to underage drinking/ providing to underage kids, to rape! I hear about it DAILY! It seriously makes me sick to my stomach!!! Think about all of the men and women who actual did something were in the battles and risked/lost their lives!!! Do you think your a hero for making it through boot camp? no that does not make you a hero. You are a hero for doing your jobs and going above and beyond, taking your job seriously, and being willing to put it all on the line. Get your butts in gear and start being the heros you should be!

trapped

Trapped
Do you ever feel like you are trapped in a box unable to get out. It is hard to breath or move. You are watching you own life go by unable to interfere. You watch yours3lf make decisions that you never thought you would. You are screaming at yourself for your complete disregard for your morals ad beliefs. You don't know how you got here. Why are you doing these things?
Your life has flown by with no input from you. Your stuck. You don't know how to change it. How to get out. How to become the person you know and love. There is a stranger who has take over your body, threw you in the box, and locked it. I recently escaped from my box. I felt through my childhood and teen years that i was a stranger looking in. i did things i didn't want to do and told myself i never would. Gave up the rights to my morals and beliefs. I have taken them back, broken the chains and am now in charge. My morals, values, beliefs and thoughts are mine. I wont let that be taken from me ever again!
Keep your guard up don't wind up trapped.

Ring Ring Hello

I HATE IT When people are in a fight and super angry at each other. The gloves are off the issue is super heated about something really important, like the toilet paper being on the wrong we, and then the phone rings. They both look at the phone. The hand reaches for it and places it on their ear. Now comes the part I hate, they say in the sweetest voice, "hello.... oh how are you.... I am fine... No you didn't catch me at a bad time.... " All the while the other person is stomping their foot and you both are scowling ready to pounce as soon as they push the off button! So obnoxious!

leashes for children

I have one for my son. If i didn't then there would be no way i could let him out of his stroller anywhere. He twists all around if i try to hold his hand and i am afraid of dislocating his arm, he wont let me hold him, he runs off to whatever catches his attention and he is an adorable blond hair blue eye boy who loves talking to everyone and that scares me to death. I just feel so bad when people i don't even know come up to me and tell me how wrong it is to have him on his leash (which is the monkey one and he LOVES wearing it) He sees it and starts putting it on and hands me the "tail."
I know not every child needs one some like to stay with you and are shy and or cautious. If you child is like that you are lucky but mine is a little lightning bolt, and we all know those are fast and never strike the same place twice!
What do you think of children's leashes... cruel punishment or a useful safety feature?

singing in the car

Oh how I wish I could sing. I mean I have the capability of singing, but not without making people plug their ears… I don’t care though I roll my windows down, crank up the tunes, and sing to my hearts content! Goodness some albums you cant help but singing as loud as you can; Katy Perry, Ashley Simpson, Hillary Duff, Shiny Toy Guns, All American Rejects, just to name a few. Even if you don’t necessarily like them and don’t make a habit of listening to them with people in the car when N Sync, Spice Girls, or Backstreet Boys come on you cant help but turn it up! Haha I love it! I get weird glances from strangers in cars and some people that join in all the time! I don’t care, it actually adds to the fun! Anyone with me on that?

Blended Families part one

It is so hurtful to the children when you divide them and look at them in levels. I was on the receiving end of negativity on my fathers side. He remarried this woman who I used to adore! She was nice and charming and had this daughter who soon became one of my best friends. I would come home to my mothers house and tell her all of the wonderful things she did with us and the great times we had having family dinners and family outings and playing board games. Soon the division started...
her daughter (who I never disliked through this we remained friends outside of their house) became obviously favored in that house. She lived there half the time and my brother and I were there every other weekend. My dad isn't one to start things or say that we should go out to the park or the movies or spend time together, he is a nice guy too and relies on other people to tell him what he wants to do. I think it rubbed off a little on me.
Christmas was always hard on me as a child, the presents were very obviously piled higher for one child. (by the way my sister is only 1 month older than I am) It really wasn't about the fact that I received less it was the obvious favoritism towards her. During the weekends I was there i would love spending time with my sis, her mother would get jealous and send me to my room to play away from her while she spent "mother daughter" time with her. She did get her other days too. This happened most weekends. I felt very alone in that house yet to try to bond more with my dad I moved in for a school year, BIG MISTAKE! It got worse and worse even though the excuse that she is there "half of the time" was no longer there the same things kept going on. I felt very ignored, my father (i believe escaping from life) watched a lot of TV and was very distant from me.
EVERY thing i did seamed to be wrong so i avoided things even more. One day i couldnt get a hold of anyone to pick me up from school not knowing it was a half day on Wednesdays and walked home, I knew the combo to the garage so i was able to get into the house (we lived less then 1/2 a mile from the school and other kids were walking too) I got in huge trouble because someone could have kidnapped me (i am 13 at the time) and i could have been killed. 2 DAYS later my step mom told me it would be easier if from then on I could walk to and from school. WOW! I still haven't gotten over the irony of it.
I decided to move out of that house the end of the school year and after that my father and I went about 3 years barely talking, I hardly went over to their house anymore maybe once every couple of months to see my sister who was born when I was 10 from my step mom and dad. The reason for this was because they said that I was no longer welcome in that house! It was the saddest thing to hear as a 13 year old girl.
Another Christmas I do not remember what year I went to my step mom's families Christmas party and my step sister did not go with us. When we were opening present guess who had NONE in front of her "I did not know you were coming" was the excuse yet my sister had many sitting waiting for her, y biological brother received a few (a fifty dollar mall gift card and some clothes) I sat there pretending to feel included in the family.
My mothers family did the whole blending thing PERFECTLY! They included my step brother and sister with open arms (after they got used to the fact my mom remarried lol they loved my dad) Christmas is always fun and warm and we all feel like a family! Everyone was included the the annual grandchildren Christmas party my grandmother throws! Everyone is open and talks and laughs and eats. We feel together. I just wish i could feel like that with my father.
I have tried several times to tell them how I felt growing up and how unincluded and alone I felt and they just don't understand! I am sorry big venting blog here! but there is much more to type on the matter but if you have a blended family make all of the children equal and included. Set time apart to get to know your step children and let your family know how much they mean to you and that they are your family! The people and things your spouse cares about are things and people you care about! They are human beings with emotions and lives that will live on past the time they are with you but the way your family is shapes them and their futures! I have a feeling a few more blogs like this will be to come! Sorry if it is irrelevant to you, but if not please listen, think about the hearts of those children and how you would feel in that situation, how alone it already is as a child and how you can make the awkward stages go by so much easier. You don't want to push your spouses children away from their mother or father! It isn't right or fare!
Thank you

REALLY?

Goodness there are so many people who do this and it bothers me so much!!! I am guilty of it to and it bothers me even when I do it and I am in recovery from the "really" disease.
You start saying a story to your friend about something out of the ordinary that happened to you, "When I was on my way here I almost hit the emo kid that had his hood up and was obviously listening to music, i came within inches of hitting him and he didn't even know it ever happened,"
The reply, "Really?" NO NOT REALLY I JUST TOLD YOU FOR NO REASON! who started this? who was the person who started spreading the "really" disease? It is really annoying!

Body Modification

I think body modification is an expression of ones self. Just like coloring your hair to be more "you." Yes it is more extreme than that I completely agree but if someone if uncomfortable with the way thy look or they want to bring their inner self out I don't see anything wrong with that. I want plastic surgery, having two kids before i was 20 did quite a number on my body, my stomach butt look like i got a skin graph from a zebra, My boobs are much smaller and just not as flattering as they were before and I just want to be back to the way I was. The industry I am in is all about beauty and I don't feel comfortable being naked I try to so hard but it just isn't the way I feel on the inside, therefore I am getting surgery but only to look the way i did before because this isn't me. People stare at my stomach when I am in a bathing suit and it makes me even more uncomfortable. I am perfectly fine with plastic surgery, it was actually my dream job when i was younger.
Tattoos are amazing and piercings are awesome. My husband and I had gauges in our ears, we both took them out when he joined the military. I have a tattoo on my back and look forward to getting more! I have a Monroe and have also had my nose and my belly button pierced on the top and bottom. I think they are a beautiful expression of who you are! Your body is a part of who you are internally. I see it like putting makeup on it changes our appearance. I know many people see it as MUCH different and I completely respect that. The clothes we choose to wear and the accessories we choose all are an expression of self, bringing the inner self out. I see tattoos and piercings as accessories. That's my view whats yours?

Wash Rinse Repeat if needed

How many times do we have to tell people the same thing! We can say it in different ways and they always say the same thing after your rant. Some way or another they say they will change whatever it is or they will do better, try harder, be nicer, think more about your feelings, include you. Whatever the situation entails. What is the deal with that? I know it is mostly women saying this and the men who don't listen, don;'t take this the wrong way men. Why do you think the stereotypical problems in relationships is the woman is a nag and the men don't listen.
I am really really trying to not be a "nag" with my husband but sometimes it gets so frustrating hinting at things and reminding gently when it isn't working and i know it is annoying when i repeat myself to both of us! I do not like doing it at all! I do not want to be a nag! A couple of weeks ago we both got better about this on both sides! Although i think it is because He is willing to listen and gave me permission to remind him and he wouldn't get mad so i don't have to get angry. He also has permission to tell me when i am being a "nag."
This doesn't only have to do with significant others it has to do with everyone! children, coworkers, friends, parents, we are all guilty!

Bless You?

I hate it when people sneeze and get angry when people don't say bless you. Are you really worthy of every ones blessing! What about sneezing makes you so special? I try to sneeze as quietly as possible so no one hears it and I could care less if someone "blesses" me for it! Besides you are spreading virus' and bacteria into the world so it isn't like you did anything amazing that would make me want to put blessings upon you. Do I say it when I hear a sneeze... yes but that is because I don't want the whole "bless you, thank you" phrase coming all from their mouths in a rude snotty way... Ah makes me so annoyed!
Just one of my many pet peeves!

The guy in the background

Are you ever going through your pictures and notice someone in the background you don't know making a funny face or doing something weird. Sometimes it makes the whole picture amazing! It may have been a picture you may have deleted or thrown away but it was so funny that you just couldn't. I wonder how many pictures I am in that people notice i am doing something embarrassing. I am making a weird face or bending over and they have my butt in the picture. I want to see some of those i think it would be funny! How many other worlds am i in. These lives are all around me and all i think about is my own a lot of the times, and the people that fit into it. A weird thought I know

squeaky doors

Every night when i put my son down for sleep and i go to close the door it would SQEEEEEEK and he would wake up. Goodness this is a frustrating situation. So i would just leave the door open for about an hour until i knew he would be out enough that he wouldn't budge. Well i got a better plan. I took the medicine dropper and filled it partially with vegetable oil and put it on the hinges IT WORKED AMAZINGLY! No more squeaky doors! Just thought i would share this with you!

Peer Pressure

Why do people feel the need to get people to do things they don't want to do. Is it the need to prove that you can make someone do it. Sometimes you get something out of it like pressuring someone to go further then they wanted to physically or getting someone to let you cheat off of their homework or test, but do you really feel good about it? What about getting someone to drink when they don't want to or smoking or driving faster, just getting people to do stupid things they don't want to do? Do you get a sense of self worth for this?
People, don't give into this! You are a stronger (MUCH STRONGER) and smarter person for sticking to what you think and know is right. Stay true to your morals and values. You have the right to choose for yourself on what is ok and not ok for YOU to do. Do not stoop to their level. You show you are a better person then them. Also it is much more fun to watch drunk people then it is to be drunk! Especially the next morning :)
So come on use the space between your ears!

The Most Annoying This About Going To The Store!

You get to the store, you are running behind schedule and you spot it! The perfect spot only a couple cars back in the lot. You go to pull in and then you see it! your face gets red! words slip out! Its wiry frame mocking you. The squeaky wheels ready to start rolling at the slightest tap, a breeze could possible roll it into the side of a $20,000 car. A SHOPPING CART IS SITTING THERE RIGHT WHERE YOU NEED TO BE!
What the flip is up with that! Why cant people walk a few yards to put the cart away!?!? What is worse (like what happened to me the other day) is when you come out to your car and there is a cart up against your car with a HUGE scratch down the side of it! Thank goodness it is a surface scratch but it never would have happened if the person put it where it belongs! I ALWAYS put them away! It bugs me so much! If you are guilty of thins knock it off its potentially costing other people money getting scratches on their cars buffed out! Sorry just a little P.O.ed right now.GRR

Are People Impatient

Nothing is fast enough, the freeways, red lights, school, work, waiting rooms, commercials (even when fast forwarding them), cooking our food, loading a web page, time, the list goes on and on.
The funny thing is most of the things took even longer long ago. We now have microwaves for our food, the funny thing is we still take the food out a few seconds before the beep, then instead of letting it sit the minute or two we eat it and burn ourselves because we couldn't get it fast enough. The speed limit gets raised but we still see how much we can push the limit to get to our destination a few minutes earlier. We see a light turning yellow and floor it so we wont have to wait at a red light. We used to sit there while our dial up Internet would take sometimes minutes to pull up a web page, now if it takes 10 seconds it isn't fast enough. We are wanting it all and we want it NOW! I am definitely guilty of this. Yesterday I had the thought for this blog because I myself took my food out of the microwave two seconds before it was done, i couldn't wait those two extra seconds out of the minutes i was saving from using the microwave instead of the stove for my quesadilla? It was pretty silly of me. Do you have any other examples?

Pheromone Cologne

I have the most wonderful perfume that i bought at X's and O's lingerie and gift boutique http://xsandoslingerie.com/ in Escondido California! it is a pheromone perfume and it WORKS! haha my husband always is all over me anyways haha but he put it on a few times without telling me to test it and all of those days i was all over him :) so i suggest all you married couples get some. It brings out your natural sent, if you and some friends all put it on in 20 minutes you will all smell different it is so weird! It is amazing!their website is http://xsandoslingerie.com/ I don't know if they have it up but you can write them i believe it is $16.99. Or you can go in and check out all of their inventory! their address is 156 West Grand Avenue, Escondido, CA 92025. It is owned by an amazing couple, They do not sell pornography they sell things that are meant to be used together! If you know what I mean! They also sell Tons of Halloween costumes in all adult sizes! If any of you get the pheromone cologne let me know how it works for you!

Is America Gving Up!

In our lives what we start out loving we end up leaving. We get so excited, our dream job calls us back, we scored an interview. You go and nail it! You got the job! A year later you are extremely miserable. The guy next to you breaths to loud. An obnoxious lady always eats the stinkiest things in the lunch room, your boss (who happens to look like a star wars creature... most likely jabba) is constantly hitting on you in subtle ways. The receptionist has the worst breath and the walls are closing in on you. The once beautiful thing when all of these didn't bother you, some of them were even, in a strange way, you liked the odd quirks!
We buy a house, a fixer upper that you think is FABULOUS! You got a great deal on it and it will cost less to do the work! You start doing the work yourself, you are loving it! you get to choose all of the aspects of the house, the carpet, the tiles, the wall color and texture, the counters and cupboards and maybe even adding in a couple of adjustments like a sunroof, some ceiling fans, a bar from the kitchen to the dining room and it will all be amazing! A month goes by, you are frustrated and complaining about all of the work you are doing and all that you have to do still. It seams like a never ending project. The thing that you were loving turned out to be your worst nightmare. You give up and hire someone, yet complain the whole time at how they aren't doing it the way you would.
We get into a relationship, butterflies seam to have taken up permanent residence in your mid section. You long to see them. Everything about them is perfect, the way they look, the way they eat, the way they breath, the way they smell, the kiss, the hugs, holding hands makes you giddy, when your phone rings your heart leaps hoping for that one name to be on the caller ID! You are so in love, some minor fights but nothing serious, you work perfect together. He pops the question she says YES! The planning starts. The big day finally gets there and everything is beautiful and wonderful! A month or two after you start your journey together the breathing is too loud, the chewing is repulsing, he smells terrible after he gets home, her breath stinks in the mornings, That's what they really look like under all of that makeup? The butterflies haven't been seen in a weak. A couple years later you are sleeping as far apart from each other as you can in the bed, your pray they aren't the one calling you, what are they going to ask of me now? Soon the D word gets thrown around more and more. then it become serious! someone gets the papers, out of hurt and anger the other signs and then it is over!

We need to realize there are positives and negatives to everything! We can't just give up on everything we don't like or bothers us!

any thoughts?

Puppy Love

Is amazing! As a military wife i get to feel it often. When he is gone and I get to see him again, right before i am going to see him I get those butterflies and the kiss is like the first one all over again. I long to hold his hand and it makes me happy knowing he feels the same. Anticipating seeing my face. I get all dolled up (as if he doesn't know what I look like in the morning.) The next couple of days are like the first months. That longing feeling is something I never want to go away. But it does. We become human again, we argue we fight, we make up. We have bad breath in the morning and smell after we work out. We get irritated and make messes and say stupid things. But we love each other.
I think it is the puppy part of love is what starts the glue binding, it gets us hooked. We just need to work at not letting the glue wear off and need to keep adding to it! We need to work at these relationships! I want out statistics to go more in our favor. Things get hard TOUGH everything gets hard! we have this mentality that when things aren't going OUR way then we can just leave it and start over with something new. That's going to be the next blog!

Happy Reading!

Chat Rooms

What is an appropriate age from a page like facebook or myspace. I got one when I was fifteen but my mom had my sign in and password, i hated it because she thinks its fun to read EVERYTHING and comment on it all. It is hard to feel privacy or for your friends to say anything somewhat personal to you, which a parent really wouldn't care but the friend does. But it is ok and it is the right of the parent to monitor things that are going on in their roof. even for them just knowing that you have access will help them think before they do silly things. This is something my mom and step dad did very well they knew the dangers we were too blind (as children) to see. They knew the people on there are very good at making everything seem ok and glamorous. The people on there seem amazing and perfect and trap you. My mom put a program on all of our computers so that if certain words come up or certain web pages were looked at she would get an alert. She respected when we told her not to read an email because our friends said something personal about themselves that they didn't want others to know.
Doing things you wouldn't normally is easy to do over the Internet because of the distance between you. There is lots of cyber going on from the class presidents, A students, and even the "church girls." On the computer they feel it isn't really them and the person doesn't know who everyone else sees. You can be whoever you want! Now with digital cameras you can take whatever pics you want just upload them onto the computer and then delete, most laptops have cameras built into them, its easy and easy to cover up!
A lot of girls, i believe, in this second life generation are two different people. The one society sees and their cyberself.
Girls just be careful especially if you don't know the guy on the receiving end. Most times the don't actually care about a cyber relationship so don't just assume you are the exception because he has a life outside of the Internet just like you. There are real girls around him and real friends. Guys can compartmentalize they can have a "Cyber Girl" box and a "Girlfriend" box or a "Dating box" and when dipping in a different box don't even think of the other boxes. PLEASE BE CAREFUL ON THE INTERNET! It is so easy to say what you think the other person will want to hear especially in writing! And as girls it is easy to be swooned by these things that guys say.
I suggest for a mom the rule should be no friends on the Internet you don't know in real life and talk face to face.

Should all jobs allow men to take paternity leave

I believe so. It is very difficult as a new mom, in pain and exhausted to get the rest you need and care for the new little bundle of joy. Fathers also need that bonding time, women have an automatic maternal instinct men have to work for it, that is why there are so many more fathers that leave the families to "start over" then mothers. It is also why mothers usually have the majority custody in divorce. I am glad they give military men paternity leave because many tie they will become disconnected from their kids and they need all of the bonding they can get. I believe it should be this way in the mainstream work, all men need it.
I can't even begin to explain how much the mother needs someone there to help and it is best if it is the father. The way society is now that women work and share the same responsibilities as men in this world so why should only the woman care for the new child? Especially after all of the work they just did, the nine months of pregnancy and hours of labor (whether or not she had an epidural it still hurts.) Please listen to her and help her it is a very emotional time.

Fast Food

People who sue restaurants (fast food or otherwise) because they get fat or heart disease or high cholesterol. I don't think anyone was stuffing it down your throat! I think eating from those places is perfectly fine in moderation there is nothing wrong with splurging every now and then. Its the 3, 4, 5, 10 times a week people that have problems later on. It is so easy and cheap to go through the drive through and order off of the dollar menu. "two burgers, a large fry, an apple pie and an extra large DIET coke" that is how we justify it. We blame everything but ourselves for our problems. But they looked good, they had a special, they they they. Why don't we say i thought it looked delicious and wanted to buy it, it is my fault for my cholesterol, i shouldn't eat out that much!
Super size me made McDonald's look like the bad guy but they really aren't doing anything wrong. Yes they have high fat content and sodium. Their food is not nutritious but they aren't shoving pounds and pounds of it down your throat! You are not horrible for eating from these places but don't blame other people for your problems! It is possible to be addicted to food! There are clinics for people who have these types of addictions. Carbs are addicting and if you cut it out of slim it down in your diet you are very likely to crave it and have withdrawals from it. The same from sodas and chocolates. Drug addicts have to admit it is their fault and their choice we should start looking at our own addictions. If something comes to mind try cutting it out if you cant it is probably an addiction!

Opinions Are Not Facts!

Please don't judge other people for not doing things your way! Moms who decide not to breastfeed aren't evil horrible moms, formula has not been proven to cause any terrible things to babies.
STRETCHMARKS, so many people have different remedies and preventions for these evil things! I did them I did the gross things and still got them EVERYWHERE . I have them on my stomach, my chest, my sides, and my butt! I rubbed coco butter all over myself several times a day making myself oily and creamy and nasty and spent lots of money and I have them BAD! I am so sick of people saying you shoulda you coulda!
Punishing their kids a different way, some spank, some use timeouts, some pinch, some take things away, some send them to their rooms, some yell, all kids are different they need different discipline! what works for your kids doesn't always work for others kids.
ORGANIC, people are not bad for not eating all organic or feeding their kids all organic, it is an expensive hard choice to go all organic. Not everyone can afford it! Yes i feel better when eating more organic foods and non processed foods but they have not been PROVEN to expand your life.
Just please stop thinking you are doing it all right and others are doing it wrong. Different is not wrong.

Road Rage

We are driving down the road, we are in a hurry. We slow down at stop signs instead of stopping and looking, we cut people off and look at speed limits as suggestions. We are halfway to the destination moving at a good pace, you might just make it in time when suddenly someone CUTS YOU OFF! The words start flying out of your mouth, one (possible two) fingers get raised. We catch up with them riding their butt. We get to our destination and by this time are so heated our whole day is ruined! But how many days did you ruin? How many people did you cut off? How many accidents ALMOST happened because of YOU!? You may have been in a hurry but the person who cut you off might have been in an even bigger hurry, wife in labor in the seat, someone hurt on the way to the hospital. Choose to ignore it, we all have cut people off for our own selfish reasons why can't people cut us off? We get mad and wonder why others take it so hard when we cut them off or do something stupid while driving? Next time think.
Another thing, do you ever get mad when there is really bad traffic and people drive in the emergency lane? Well my friend was in labor and went to one hospital that does not accept her insurance so she had to RUSH to the next hospital but there was traffic and she was 6cm dilated! They started driving down the emergency lane, people got pissed some person pulled out in front of her and stopped so they couldnt go. The driver got out of the car ran up to them and explained what was going on ANGRY and the person felt like a jerk, which they were. So think! Don't end up in that situation.

BOUNDARIES

In relationships it is very important to have a mutual respect and care for each other emotionally and physically. You should be able to talk to each other about boundaries, if not you don't know each other well enough to start dating. You need to stand up for yourself! If it helps write it out so you dint forget things, the way this should work is that you DO NOT COMPROMISE! You need to agree that the person who has the most strict boundaries is the one that you both follow! You do not compromise because that is not truly caring for yourself and that also is not respecting the other persons feeling about the subject. If the don't feel comfortable doing more then holding hands or kissing then that's as far as you go and you make it clear. If the other person tries to pressure you to do more that is NOT the relationship for you because they are not respecting your boundaries and caring for YOU, they are caring for their own WANTS! They are not needs and if someone tries to tell you "I have needs that you are not fulfilling," they are lying and being selfish. They have WANTS you are not fulfilling.
It is SO hard as a girl and I fell into that trap of longing to PLEASE him. You care for him so you go with his boundaries and what he wants and stop thinking about yourself and what you were comfortable with. You soon become numb to the things you are doing because you aren't doing them because you want them and you are ready for it. You then don't realize why that relationship isn't working and it is because there isn't respect on both sides, they don't respect you and you don't respect you! You become depressed and don't understand why. When the relationships fail you become devastated because you gave him so much of yourself.
When the next guy comes you would feel guilty to give him less then the guy before because you like the new one more so you slowly give more and more of yourself that you never wanted to give in the first place. But you are not doing it for you because YOU feel is right and how you imagined it would be it is for the guys that don't stick around forever. If the other ones didn't work out, what was the common factor? It was them being selfish and you not having self respect. We need to turn this around, realize our sexuality is our strength and if he really likes/loves us and cares for us he will understand it isn't just something we do it is something we feel and will keep with us the rest of our lives and unless he can guarantee he will be the one to marry you and isn't just wanting a good time he isn't ready for it either!
When you get married you will regret EVERYTHING you did with the guys not just the sex. Also GUYS you will regret it too and in the back of the girls mind no matter what you say she will always be a little hurt by it as well. ESPECIALLY if any of those people are still in your lives. Please be careful and respect yourself and if the other person doesn't respect you it isn't right!

Should girls ask boys out?

No, boys have very sensitive egos, even though they do not want girls to know about it. Boys long to be superior to us even though girls secretly have the upper hand. they can ask and put themselves out there but we hold the power to make it or break it. Our next words choose our fate for the next weeks, months years, possibly the rest of our lives (and/or theirs). Our lips that enthrall them, mystify them, are the one thing they cant control as much as they long to. We need to take that back, we need to think about things, just because a boy likes us doesn't mean they are worth a yes. A no will keep them coming, if they truly like you they will come back, and that's when you truly have the power. If they go on to the next girl he was never yours to begin with. If you were friends first and you know him and truly do like him a yes is OK. Any relationship should be built on friendship, if my husband and I did not have a solid foundation of friendship it would have been over before it began. Just guard your heart and let him ask you, drop hints and if he doesn't get it then he is too dense for you. Be smart! And don't push any boundaries that you are not comfortable with you also have the upper hand with that! But that's another blog.