Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Are girls too mean to eachother?

Oh yes! Rumors fly, caddy remarks sneak out while they pass each other in the hall, they make smear blogs to hurt others and put them down, the get in fist fights over looks and stealing boys. The competition to be the prettiest, smartest, most popular makes girls turn into vicious animals. I have even seen girls make fake web pages to get you to "add" them as a friend and then begin slowly talking to all of your friends trying to turn them all against them. They video themselves beating up another helpless girl and Putin them up on video networks. Girls get so scared and embarrassed that they stop going to school and are put in therapy and sometimes even lead to drugs and drinking to make the pain go away. A lot of time they are old friends that something silly happened then they decided to be enemies and make everyone else be their enemy as well. Girls going WAY out of the way to seduce a boyfriend just to be mean. It is just horrible, i was the victim to this in my school and CHURCH! wow never thought it would happen there! Prayer becomes a rumor mill for some which is a very sad truth. So be careful you reasons for telling people things that aren't about you.
Life goes on you shouldn't hold grudges towards people especially when they didn't do anything wrong. A lot of times girls will go after the new girlfriend of their ex with the mentality of "I don't want him but I don't want anyone else to have him either." It makes them feel like the next girl is superior to her when in reality she is if you stoop down to give her grief without doing anything wrong. I never understood this. High school girls are just ruthless and mean. So if you are one please be the one that rises above it all, its petty and will mean nothing when you get out of high school accept for those girls who mentally stay there the rest of their lives. They are the ones at the 10,20,30 year reunions still talking about grudges they had in high school and gossiping about people. Please don't be that girl!

Why must wives respect their husband?

Why in the bible does it say for a man to Love his wife and a woman to Respect her husband?

It is because the opposite comes natural. Men have respect for those around them love however is not natural, when things get tough they run. Love is a choice like i said in my other blog post. For women love comes easiest, we nurture, we care for, and we comfort. Respect is harder for us. Giving up of our feelings and thoughts to respect our husband. We like being respected but we do not respect our husbands decisions as much as we should, we take things into our own hands and are RIGHT! I do definitely struggle with this! I have the love part down but respect its something we don't understand. We need to listen and hear what he says, take it into consideration, be able to walk in his shoes. It is not that we need to bow down to his very whim that is not respect and that is not respect and that is not love on his part. It is our job to show them how to love and their job to show us how to respect therefore we both love and respect each other. If you haven't heard of Pam and Bill Farrel the have some great books to help you understand this. If you are in the beginning of marriage or thinking about getting married a great book by them is "The First Five Years" another is one that shows you how the other thinks and feels called "Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti" They are great books! The Love Dare which i talked about in the other blog about love is another amazing tool to learn how to show love and respect to your spouse whether you are male of female! Christian or not! the principals are all the same.

Our Money or Theirs?

Credit or Debit? We go over our limit to have the things we wish we could afford, we say we can afford the minimum payment and get excited when the minimum payment goes down and it turns out you are paying it off even slower. out of your 50 dollar minimum payment 35 goes toward the interest 5 goes toward you protection plan and you are actually paying 10 dollars off of your principle. Instead of building the credit we thought we were going to we miss a payment or two and owe an extra 60 dollars and soon you are so far behind on all of your 50 dollar a month payments from numerous opened credit cards that you start getting numerous calls a day from ruthless creditors that wont budge. Even if you pay them your credit is still scarred. You now find yourself paying more on every loan you have and it ends up costing you even more in the long run. How could we avoid this?
We can live one step below the amount we make, you will be able to pay for everything you need and you will have a surplus (even if not much) in case of emergency or for the future. We long for earthly possession and win people over with the fancy car or purse, the nice dress, the elaborate house. Instead we need to think about the families we have, the amount of room we need the furniture we will use, the car that will be most efficient for the children (if any) and husband. Do we need 2 car? Is it close enough to walk or ride a bike? Is the extra office in the house worth the extra 50,000 dollars.
Once our credit is ruined it is a hole that seams to get deeper and deeper. soon we are buried and we are avoiding the phone and throwing away mail before we open it.
When my husband and i were married we were negative without me even being aware of it. He had made many college mistakes that he didn't think would affect his future or his future families.
We now have a strictly cash budget which stops us from over drafting our account or getting deeper into credit issues. We have envelopes that we save and it only comes out if it is being used for that purpose. If you don't get holes in your pockets it may be a good idea for you.

Is love truely 50/50

If love truely 50/50? Do we really always meet in the middle? Do we see eye to eye? Are me on the same page?
We are human and always fall short and noone is ever giving the same amount! people always have bad days and therefore we will rarely meet in the middle, expecially once we are out of the puppydog love stage!

We need to look at it as being 100/100. So we can actually meet!!!!

This way when we have those imperfect times and dont give 100 we are still meeting eachoher somewhere! We need to focus on picking up the slack when our spouse or significant other is not holding up their end because sometime it will be their turn to pick up your slack!

Lowering the Drinking Age

In my opinion if we lower the drinking age after it has been 21 for so long I do not believe it will help the underage drinking issue. I strongly feel it will lower the age of the underage drinkers. 18 year old have a lot more friends that are in the lower teens and will gain help them gain access to the alcohol. This will lead to developmental and behavioral issues. Many 21 year olds are already very irresponsible with their alcohol content, I saw the same idiocity over and over again while my husband was bar tending. I find it more fun to watch drunk people then dink personally, but it saddens me so much to see those same people sneak away to drive home. There have been way too many deaths and injuries due to drunken behavior. I believe we are all connected with someone who has been killed or has killed because of driving under the influence. 18 year old drivers are already among the top to be the cause of accidents, do we really want to risk raising the percentage?
Why is it such a big deal to start drinking at a younger age anyway? Do you really need to add even more mind splitting headaches and vomit to your life? Face it most 18 year olds do not know when to stop. They don't drink just to have a yummy drink, they drink to get drunk, to feel the giddy, I can rule the world feeling.
Now the military has a proposition for making it legal for those in the military to be able to drink at 18 only on base or of course in countries where it is legal. I do believe this is fare considering they are able to go to war and have made that choice they should be able to make those decisions to drink. On base they can also monitor it. What are your opinions?

Pornography... Hot fantasy or a Relationship ruiuner

Should it be illegal. how many lives has it ruined? How many marriages are torn apart? How many children's hands need to get on it? When has pornography ever been productive for anyone besides the person making money off of it. It causes emotional issues for the people in the videos and on the person watching. It doesn't allow for proper emotional connection with others and is extremely addicting. It even takes away your ability (for a male) to be able to get it up so to say, after a while. It leads to expectations in others that cannot be fulfilled. It is can be a very expensive habit when it comes to your wallet. If you have been in a novelty shop like most Americans have you have seen the price tags on these. But it is now even easier to get ah old of, it is in almost every house in America, a stream to "live" shows, your Internet. Pop ups come up all the time, advertisements on the side of your favorite harmless website. Enticing you, drawing you in, "do you want to see more?" "No one is watching" "its just this once" "what is the harm?" The harm is its ALWAYS just this once. It is never an "Addiction." You find yourself saying "no i don't want to go out I am busy" When all you are doing is spending time with imaginary people. People you will never meet and have no interest in you! Just your wallet. You think this girl has relationships, do you think she enjoys the sex, its fulfilling her? She is an actress, she knows what to say and how to say it to make you believe. Look at your relationships with other people. If you ever say no i am busy but the things you are busy with you are embarrassed to tell them why you cant go out then it is an addiction and in your heart you KNOW it is wrong. If people wont "understand" it is because you know they shouldn't. Think of the people who find you important, and those you should find important!


They are thinking about making it against the rules to smoke in all military branches. I think this is a great idea. The health risks are now known and proven, there is nothing productive about it. In the military you are considered government property and they do not want their property harmed. It is your choice to join, you know that they can make you do whatever they want. The rules are much much harsher on you than general laws. If you read up most of the punishments are death for disobeying their rules. That doesn't mean that they use this in excess.
Smoking can lead to lung cancer, throat cancer, heart disease, high blood pressure, blood clots, and if this happens then they will have to pay your medical bills which didn't have to happen in the first place if the person in the military had not smoked. Cigarettes are also becoming increasingly more expensive and it would be more beneficial for hem to be cut out of the budget. I see it as an extremely selfish and rude habit.
When i was pregnant (noticeably) i was at sea world, San Diego, and was sitting on a nonsmoking bench and three guys came up and sat right next to me and started smoking. I asked them to stop or leave and pointed out i was pregnant and this was a nonsmoking bench. They said they had the right to smoke wherever they wanted and i said that i had the right to breath fresh air whenever i want. It is a good thing pregnant women are scary because they put them out and left. :) But many times people just light up right next to people without asking if the people around them mind or finding a secluded place. I was sitting there first i had a right to sit there and breathe. I also am allergic to cigarette smoke i break out in a rash and my face breaks out when i am around those who smoke, more people are then people want to realize. My oldest son is the same way.
Society leads smoking to be sexy but what is sexy about stinky clothes and breath? What is sexy about being sick and coughing, throat cancer has never turned me on.

If you are a smoker reading this I do not have a problem with you, just think and be considerate of the people around you!

Weddings and Long engagements

I have been planning weddings for almost 10 years and the long engagements seam to add more strain on the relationship and more stress in your life, there is only so much planning you can do, especially since most girls have been planning for this one day in their lives their whole life!
What i have observed is that the simpler wedding seam to be the marriages that last the longest and seam the happiest because they realize it isn't about the day it is about every day after the wedding. Getting through a ceremony and honeymoon and opening all of your cards and gifts, that's the easy part. Living together, finding each others flaws, realizing the things you thought were cute now drive you crazy! You seam to not feel the love anymore.
The number one reason for divorce is financial issues. Then why do we insist on spending 10's to 100's of thousands of dollars on this one day instead of invention it into the marriage. A beautiful wedding can come from a minimal budget. My wedding in total cost just over $1000 including my dress and it was a beautiful wedding, yes i got some good deals on things for being a coordinator but not that much, I just wanted simple! I will post some pictures so you can see, my dress was a replica of a very expensive dress i loved... 170 dollars made to fit me. My flowers cost about 150 for all of 6 bouquets 6 corsages, and 6 boutonnieres. My cake was made by a wonderful student at the culinary institute for 75 dollars.. and let me tell you it was the best darn wedding cake i had ever tasted! Decorations were about $250. Food was catered by el pollo loco and was delicious and about $350 (paid for by my husbands family, thank you). my cousin made my veil which cost about 3 dollars for the fabric and i already had a tiara. My gifts to my girls cost me 10 dollars each which were these adorable snowflake necklaces and earring. My theme was winter wonderland. I loved it! my photographer was a friend. If you need to splurge on something make it the photographer and make sure they give you the right to your photos, either the negatives or a disc with all of the pictures! it is worth the extra cost.
These are my views on weddings. Less is More. Also my husband and i were already married before the wedding so it was a lot less stressful. but i don't suggest everyone do that.

Your views?


Before I moved to the South I had NEVER looked at another race as another species. They were never different from me. But now when i am nice to " them" i get questioned on my intentions when they are strictly honorable so that makes me looks at "them" as a "them" which I NEVER did before. And then I feel guilty because they aren't a "they" I don't know what to do. It makes me feel like i am being racist when I am not. It is really sad, if only people wouldn't have messed this whole thing up! We are people, we live and breath and bleed. Our hearts long for the same things, I just don't understand the whole racism thing. What is race, why do we look different? Well it is because people adapt to their surroundings, Asians have slanted eyes because of the high winds and cold in Asia, Africans have darker skin for the heat and amount of sun in Africa, whites really are the most vulnerable to our surroundings. We are the most fragile to wind and sun therefore should we be inferior to the other races because we are less evolved?

My issues

Right now i am having a lot of medical issues the doctors cant seam to figure out. When i was in labor with my youngest son the almost lost me, out of nowhere my blood pressure dropped really low like in the 70s... then they got me back in the 90s but then out of nowhere again it went to 50/20 and they didn't know why. So most of my pictures that are supposed to be happy i am wearing an oxygen mask. I would rather be alive then have cute hospital pictures though :)
Ever since then i will have random times doesn't matter what I an doing that I will lose my vision, it starts out as little dots then goes completely black! when this i had a mild chest pain. Now the chest pain is unbearable and it happens every couple of days. They think it is my hear, I think it is my lung. But no arguing with the doctors. My body I guess just doesn't take well to pregnancies.
The first one they left placenta in me so I bled for 4 moths! woohoo and had a REALLY bad infection and I couldnt get the doctor to check me! I also was hit in the stomach by the bio dad while i was pregnant and put on bed rest fir the first pregnancy. I was on bed rest the second pregnancy because i started going into early labor! i think that the problems now are definitely linked because that's when they started... any input?

Keeping Your Kids Out Of Trouble

Honestly Kids will find a way to get in trouble if they have their mind set to it. We were all teens, even if we weren't the trouble makers we knew them,
We also need to not tell ourselves our child is the exception. We discipline those we love and care for it builds respect for us. We still live under our
own self discipline and it first come from learning there are consequences for the things we do. We need to have an open relationship with our kids
where they have a healthy fear of you but can still come to you when they do something wrong and you help them fix it by figuring out a way that they
wont get stuck in that position again that is how you build self discipline, setting up a system that will keep you from doing the things you don't want to do.
Also when we were kids who were the people who were your friends no matter what you chose to do, whether you were partying, going to church, doing
your homework, got in a fight, or got caught doing something you weren't supposed to do. Teach them that true Friends will love them even if they do the RIGHT
Our children whether we want to think so or not are growing up in a harder world. Kids are having sex in Jr high and even Elementary school, drugs are being
offered to young children, and privacy is given in excess to children. They don't even have to tel their parents when they get an abortion or have an STD. You should be the safest place for them to come to but i should also be a challenge for them to tell you it shouldn't be easy but they need to learn to have courage. I was scared to death
when i found out i was pregnant but i knew my mom loved me and would help me, not everyone has that luxury but many people even if not your parents will hep you.
I was in no way a BAD kid i did things my parents didn't approve of, I didn't go to parties, I wasn't a druggy (i tried Pot a couple times but it wasn't a habit) I didn't
want to be bad. I did have sex in high school and i regret it now but I was in no means a skank of the school. I wish i had waited till i was married but that is another blog.
I just want my kids to be able to come to their mother and father when they are in a bind, if they drink too much and cant drive home and need me to pick them up,
if they get their girlfriend pregnant, if they get caught stealing something, if they are depressed, (i will definitely let them know i am not OK with it but
i want to be there for them through their hard times) it is OK to be mad and they know they are in trouble. I know some teens believe they have the RIGHT to do these things and that is when this doesn't work. But even as a young kid let them come to you when they do minor things and they will trust you with the major things.
Kids will find a way to do what they want to do, just help them find fun things they like to do that they don't need to sneak around to do. But always remember it is
not your fault for the CHOICES they make, everyone has a free will.