Friday, January 29, 2010

Seually Exploiting Ourselves?

What is the deal with the rampage of children exploiting themselves sexually? Girls you need to realize saying NO gives you so much more power than saying yes and sending that picture. The cell phones and web cams have become a huge problem for the younger generation. It makes it so easy to get around your parents and send pictures and videos of yourself. I have been there I know it feel like you wont get caught and no one will know. He wouldn’t send it on; he will keep it to himself. That picture or video is only a few clicks away from being on a webpage or being passed on to more people. Once you send it, especially online, it opens that part of you to the world, literally. Hackers, their parents and friends can see it if they get on their computer. Do you really trust this person, do you really know him? Your body is yours and you have every right to say no, and I have said it many times, saying “no” gives YOU the upper hand. I know it doesn’t feel like it at the time but it shows that you respect yourself and RESPECT yourself enough to not send it! When you respect yourself other people see that and will respect you and envy you for having the guts to not exploit yourself.
If you already have done this it does not make you damaged. It does not give every other guy an all access pass to YOUR body. You have the power to say no, it is in there.
PARENTS, if you found out that your daughter has been doing this it may not actually be what she wanted to do. She may just not have the respect for herself that she should. Every girl is beautiful and wants to be loved but that is not love. Remind your daughters every day that they are loved and that you are there for them. Let them know that you are there for them to talk to, and if they refuse your help it does not mean that they are meaning to disrespect you or they hate you. They are teenagers and many of them find it uncool and feel they are supposed to disregard your advice. Be careful, teenage problems and choices are very often much deeper than what you are seeing on the surface.

If you have any advice or stories you would like to share feel free!

Monday, January 25, 2010


What is with the jealousy in the world? We are all guilty of it to one degree or another. Why dislike someone for having something you want? What do you have to do with something good happening to someone else, their world (in most cases) has nothing to do with making you feel envious. By being jealous of someone is greedy, it is like saying if I can’t have it then I don’t want them to have it either. Try being happy for them, it will feel so much better than holding on to the resentment which is only destructive. Feeling that way wont get you what you envy it will only destroy you and your relationship with that person.
If the world could just be happy for one another a lot less heart ache would circulate. Maybe she is just dating your ex because she really likes him. Their relationship now is none of your business, if you are over it then you wont care. Maybe they got a really nice house because they wanted it and could afford it, not to show you up. That ipod was something they wanted too so why shouldn’t they get it if they can afford it. Her boobs are big and your flat, so what? Everyone’s body is unique. Even if she paid for it, that was a personal choice that you could make as well. She changed her body for herself. Why do these things have to do with you?
Next time you are jealous about something stop and think about how silly you are acting. Be happy for other people or just be indifferent if it is someone you don’t like. Remember hating on someone is the same thing. You don’t talk trash about someone who isn’t worth it. You obviously have something you feel inadequate about or else you wouldn’t waste your time picking out other people’s flaws.
Try to make the world a better place. Take the envy and the hatred out of your life and tell three people something you like about them today!

Thank you for reading and have a great day!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


I was watching Dawson’s Creek and Dawson’s mothers reason for having an affair is really interesting. She says that she got everything she ever wanted. Her husband is willing to satisfy her any way she wants, she has an amazing son, a great job, a wonderful home, yet in having everything she no longer was building up to anything. Then in the lack of disorder and the absence of goals and dreams (because she had achieved them) she decided to create the chaos.
This is the opposite of the picture of a cheating spouse, yes I know this is a TV show but the idea had to be in someone’s head. We usually hear that the marriage was lacking and the other person was not satisfying the needs of the others, they couldn’t talk about anything. They needed an escape from their chaotic life.
Can a life be too perfect. Is there just as much unhappiness in achieving everything you wanted as there is in looking at the list of everything you have yet to accomplish.
I believe there is always room for improvement and goals. New things come around every day, new activities and opportunities to stimulate your mind and life. I believe you can get stuck in a rut and I can see how when everything is going your way you can still feel unhappy and unsatisfied with life and feel a hole, a piece missing and you have no idea what can fill it. We look at successful people and their lives seem so perfect, they can have anything they want. Yet they can be the most miserable, negative people you ever meet.
When will people realize the things do not fill that hole. As a child I heard myself, along with my siblings, say, “when I get that I will be happy.” Then the next “that” comes along and we are no longer satisfied.
I am so much more joyful when I put more energy into doing and giving than I do when I am receiving and buying. Yes of course it is nice to receive things but doesn’t it feel so good to do something you know helped someone else, even if it is just listening. When you are feeling like going outside your marriage to fill a hole stop and figure out why that is. Is it selfishness driving you to fill this way? What can you do to that is completely unselfish for someone else? Try it, see how it makes you feel. Do not do it for the gratification and acknowledgement because that is still selfish.

What are your thoughts?

Monday, January 18, 2010


Rudeness is a huge problem in our world today. I think it has become a way of ignoring your own social awkwardness and hiding your insecurities. I caught some of the Tyra Show today about people guilty of being rude. Here are a few…
Texting constantly, this one I find very rude. When you are with someone I believe you should put your attention into that person. Talking to other people while with someone (unless it is important) is also rude. If you need to take a call make it quick and let that person know you are with someone else.
This is one that bothers me that was not on the show, criticizing someone AFTER THE FACT. There are helpful ways of telling someone something. What I mean by this is, lets say you are at the mall with your friend and you notice their fly is down and you get back into the car after and say, “your zipper has been down all day.” Not helpful. Another is telling someone what they should have done differently! They can not go back and change it now so will they get out of you telling them this? They are most likely already beating themselves up over that situation and going through the ‘shoulda coulda wouldas.’
Eating off of other people’s plates. This one was actually something Tyra Banks herself does. I find it extremely rude unless you have permission from that person. I don’t know where your fingers have been and I definitely do not want them in my mouth.
Space invaders make me so uncomfortable. Do you know someone who doesn’t know the meaning of personal space? They talk in your face; you can smell their breath and feel their spit. It is just not pleasant.
Picking your nose! Eww I do not want to see that. Of course we all need to do it sometimes but use a tissue and go into the bathroom. Not in the middle of a restaurant. Also please don’t wipe it on things! People do not want to touch that.
Road rage is another extremely rude behavior that I have written about before. The people in the car do not need you yelling at them and the people in the other car can’t hear you. Besides the fact most of the time you just did the same thing to someone else and you think it is stupid and get mad at the people that are pissed off at you. Road rage only really hurts yourself and causes stress that you don’t need.
What are some rude behaviors that you have or people you know do that bother you?

Sunday, January 17, 2010


Why don’t diets work?
I think the reason for this is because of the mindset a diet gives people. The first thing that comes to mind is “what am I not able to eat.” We feel like we are confined and it makes the food we are “not allowed” to eat that much more desirable. We get on this high in the beginning and want to follow the diet to a T but as the weeks (and for some people days) go by the other foods grab our attention and it starts with one acception, then the whole diet is “ruined.”
Instead of a diet we need to concentrate on portion size. We throw away the mindset of cutting things out and focus more on how much am I eating of everything. I suggest buying plates that are portioned out. Do not keep the extras on the table and put some of it away for leftovers before you even dish out the servings, if you make more servings than the amount of people eating. Eat foods that are high in fiber because they keep you full longer.
Another thing you can do to keep yourself from over eating is finding activities for your hands to do. A lot of us start snacking while we watch TV and before we know it the whole bag of chips are gone. Keep a project near the TV that you want to work on whether it is a nail file, a paper and pen, sewing materials, crocheting needle and yarn.
I recently purchased the Wii fit plus and it is AMAZING! It keeps you accountable and helps you know if you are in the right range for your weight based on your height and you can even work out on it while you watch TV. I like doing step aerobics while I watch shows. It has tons of great activities that help you with your posture and balance along with yoga for flexibility and strength training to tone your muscles. It also has an area that you can input other activities you did throughout the day to see how many calories you are burning. I have gone on almost every day because it is a fun way to exercise in your own home. I made my own workout routine that has helped so much with my balance and coordination. You can set a reasonable goal for your weight on the Wii. It tells you how much a safe weight to gain or lose is for you for the time you set to achieve you target weight.
Those are some alternatives to diets. It is about a lifestyle change not a goal to achieve. If you do not reset your way of thinking about food you will most likely keep falling back into the same habits over and over again. Food is not an enemy and it is not a companion when you are depressed or lonely. It is not a hobby so try to stay away from it when you are bored.
Thank you and if you have any suggestions feel free to post them.

Friday, January 1, 2010

New Years Resolutions

New years resolutions are meant to be shared. Once shared they are not to be judged, looked down on, or offend. They are decisions made by that individual that they shared in order to find accountability and support. The decision is for that person making it.
I knew my new years resolution was controversial but it is a decision my husband and i have been discussing and decided together that it was a choice we wanted to make.
This year i want to find an amazing family to be a surrogate for. I have watched first hand the miracle in action. I have the ability and i love being pregnant and would love to do it for someone and give them the opportunity to have a family of their own. That is my decision and new years resolution.

Have a wonderful day and make your dreams become a reality.