Tuesday, January 19, 2010
I was watching Dawson’s Creek and Dawson’s mothers reason for having an affair is really interesting. She says that she got everything she ever wanted. Her husband is willing to satisfy her any way she wants, she has an amazing son, a great job, a wonderful home, yet in having everything she no longer was building up to anything. Then in the lack of disorder and the absence of goals and dreams (because she had achieved them) she decided to create the chaos.
This is the opposite of the picture of a cheating spouse, yes I know this is a TV show but the idea had to be in someone’s head. We usually hear that the marriage was lacking and the other person was not satisfying the needs of the others, they couldn’t talk about anything. They needed an escape from their chaotic life.
Can a life be too perfect. Is there just as much unhappiness in achieving everything you wanted as there is in looking at the list of everything you have yet to accomplish.
I believe there is always room for improvement and goals. New things come around every day, new activities and opportunities to stimulate your mind and life. I believe you can get stuck in a rut and I can see how when everything is going your way you can still feel unhappy and unsatisfied with life and feel a hole, a piece missing and you have no idea what can fill it. We look at successful people and their lives seem so perfect, they can have anything they want. Yet they can be the most miserable, negative people you ever meet.
When will people realize the things do not fill that hole. As a child I heard myself, along with my siblings, say, “when I get that I will be happy.” Then the next “that” comes along and we are no longer satisfied.
I am so much more joyful when I put more energy into doing and giving than I do when I am receiving and buying. Yes of course it is nice to receive things but doesn’t it feel so good to do something you know helped someone else, even if it is just listening. When you are feeling like going outside your marriage to fill a hole stop and figure out why that is. Is it selfishness driving you to fill this way? What can you do to that is completely unselfish for someone else? Try it, see how it makes you feel. Do not do it for the gratification and acknowledgement because that is still selfish.
What are your thoughts?